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Found articles: 23

  • Lemons are Sour, Relief is Sweet
    One annoyance I suffer is from people with the same disorders as myself. Sleeping hard the other night at two in the morning, I was awakened by my accursed telephone. It was my best friend, John Smith.More

  • Advertising Ingenuity
    An observation I've had recently is about the commercialization of... everything. There are advertisements for curing depression/anxiety, and advertisements for learning to speak and write better; or as I like to say, "write more weller better good.More

  • Financial Wizardy at Work: Frozen Money Technology
    Thanks to the ingenuity of Louisiana Democrat William Jefferson, several innovations have been introduced to keep your money safe. Jefferson expanded the idea of cold, hard cash, and took it one step further by freezing it, thereby causing his own cash to become even colder and harder.My company will be selling plastic bags, specially formulated to More

  • NSA May be Wagging the Dog with New Spying Policies
    (63 seconds ago)White House spokesman Tony Snow has announced three new policy changes which will be enacted by the National Security Agency. His announcement, however, is not causing much concern about invasion of privacy.The NSA will start monitoring all messages contained within fortune cookies.More

  • On Switch, Off Switch
    I don't like being mentally ill because it means that sometimes my mind can't understand things as well as healthy minds. I know that I am inferior to the big Incorporated Corporated Conglomerated Companies who are successful and whose minds are not ill. Personally, I don't think of myself as being mentally ill, but rather I have a brain that has a mild cold or is allergic to normalcy.More

  • Appearing Naked in Other People's Dreams
    Appearing naked in other people's dreams is a concept which occurred to me as I woke up this morning from a dream in which I was naked. It's about time someone added this important idea to our literary and cultural heritage.Advantages to appearing naked in other people's dreams seem infinitely numerous, but I'll limit the possibilities.More

  • Being Right or Being President isn't a Popularity Contest
    Having a President who prefers fascism might seem like a fun time, especially if you're working for him, or in the oil business, but sometimes Democracy can suffer. For instance, Mr. Bush doesn't care about poll numbers.More

  • Terrorism on the Rise, George Bush a Suspect
    Beware of George Bush, a suspected terrorist. For years now, George Bush has been attempting to instill fear into his fellow Americans. He's interfered with two free Democratic elections, and concerns are rising that America's Democracy is rapidly thinning.More

  • Destruction of Urinal Cakes on the Rise
    It is the solemn duty of this news commentator to not only report, but comment on current events. As a highly-respected journalist, I feel morally compelled to comment on the needless vandalism of urinal cakes across the nation. While true they are referred to as cakes, and true that homeless people are hungry, I don't believe that homeless people should have to be so hungry as to eat just any thing that resembles -- or is named -- cake.More

  • Irish Chemist Creates Four Leaf Clover-Marijuana Hybrid
    A scientific breakthrough just in time for Saint Patrick's Day, the world's first Four Leaf Clover-Marijuana hybrid has been approved for private consumption. The only condition is that a wet towel be placed under the door prior to its use. The creation of this marvelous plant is sure to spark attention across the globe, and ensure that Ireland will be a famous country once again.More