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Found articles: 70

  • For The Love Of Raspberries
    In the kingdom of childhood relationships, Gary carried the mantle of authority and leadership amongst the children of the block. He was fond of seeing how far he could stretch his rule, and testing to see how devoted the little people of this territory were to his suggestions, no matter how ridiculous the request. Gary had a real knack for convincing others to do stupid things, while making it seem like a perfectly reasonable suggestion.More

  • Speed Secret
    A high school coach was looking forward to track season. As he assembled his class of young men to compete for the 100 yard dash, he had several boys line up for the start of the race. One boy seemed a bit shorter than the rest of the group, but the mismatch in size did not have much bearing on the exercise.More

  • How To Fund A Government Incentive Program
    While working for a time at a federal agency, I found that the demeanor and morale of my co-workers was regularly hitting a low ebb. Part of the difficulty with the government job infrastructure is the lack of incentive based work. Since federal institutions do not run on a profit motive, there is often a feeling that incentive is replaced with threats that one might inadvertently violate some rule or regulation that will result in termination.More

  • Pimp By Proximity
    When my youngest brother was about 3 years old, he was experimenting with inventing words that sounded interesting to him. On one particular occasion, he discovered a funny new word that he invented for himself which turned out to be something not so "new." Speaking his new word proudly, he marched around the house saying the word "pimp" everywhere he went.More

  • If You Don't Know, Mumble
    Lately, I have had a hard time understanding the language coming across my answering machine. The volume on the messages is adequate, but the speech is garbled by the familiarity of the caller.If a stranger calls to leave you information regarding the purpose of their call, they had better hope they do not have an unusual name, or there could be real trouble.More

  • The Dangerous Clown Disease
    While in my college clown days, some friends and I earned money by putting on a number of different performances in places like birthday parties, pizza parlors, special events, and even some local television children’s programming. Since our budget for costuming was very limited, we did the best we could by creating our own unique presentations. We found out very early that the children we performed our shows for were suspicious that something was different about us.More

  • Never Trust A Man With A Bread-Shaped Head
    The plan was very simple, all we had to do was go to the county fair in clown getup, and walk around giving kids the animal shaped balloons we made, do a few magic tricks, and perform a few stupid skits that clowns do. It is funny how some of the most simple times in life turn out to be among the most memorable. We arrived on a hot summer day, but everything started out just fine.More

  • Why Some People Are Light Sleepers
    It is a well known fact that when it comes to sleeping habits, some people seem oblivious to the house falling down around them, while others are roused by the slightest noise that seems out of place.In a little known lifetime study conducted with questionable scientific reliability, I have come to the conclusion that many people who suffer from sleeping disorders owe their afflictions in no small part to allowing pets to share the bed chamber. The findings conclude that pet influences can be divided equally between cat and dog owners that allow their pets access to sleeping with their human caretakers, with slight variations in animal behaviors.More

  • Birthday Clown Hell
    Back in my college days, I tried my hand at picking up a few dollars by entertaining as a birthday party clown. My outfit was home made, and designed to project the image of a hobo clown. All the normal pitfalls were quickly experienced, like kids trying to pull off the clown nose, fending off juvenile fists that tried to use me like a punching bag made of rubber, chaos and mayhem upon each one of my arrivals.More

  • Punch Line Madness
    It all started with a job advertisement for a greeting card company that was advertising for writers. The beginning was straightforward enough as the posting asked applicants to send their resumes along with some humorous responses to a writing exercise, and other writing samples. I half-heartedly filled in some quick answers, feeling like my first impulses would be the best, and whisked the email off to the company.More