Humor Is Everywhere - You Just Have To Look For It!

By: Jerry Aragon
Submitted: 2007-01-17 11:24:37
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Why didn't I think of that? How many times have we all asked that question? When it comes to humor, funny things happen to us all the time. I think the reason why more people don't have more humor in their lives, is because they don't CAPTURE the incident when it happened! And, if you have a memory like mine (forget it), you will never, remember the incident the way it happened!

I wrote this article, because I want to show the reader how there is humor all over the place...IF you just look for it!

AROUND THE HOME: I share with you some of things that happen around the house and other places.

A few years ago, I was sick as a dog with a bad cold and flu! I was in bed for about a week! The chest congestion I had, was so deep that I lost my voice to a whisper! Coughing all the time, made things worse! This agony lasted for about two weeks.

One day, the doorbell rang, and with nobody around to answer the door, I got up and answered it. There was a young man standing there who was about fourteen years of age and he said:

Newspaper boy: "I'm collecting for the morning newspaper, sir."

And, in a WHISPERING voice I asked, "How much is it?"

In his own WHISPERING voice the paper boy responded, "$7.50."

At which time I responded in a WHISPERING voice, "Oh, you don't have to WHISPER, young man, I have a terrible cold and the flu, and I lost my voice!"

Again, the young man responded in a WHISPERING voice, "Whether I WHISPER or not, sir, the bill is still $7.50!"

Here are two people WHISPERING at the front door, as if we were in a library. During this short exchange with the paper boy, the more I laughed at what was happening the more painful it was! As you can see, there can be humor knocking at your front door.

IN THE WORK PLACE:

I knew a man and wife, named Kathy and Rick Nelson, who worked at the same company I did. They had a baby, and were having trouble coming up with a name that they could both agree on. This tug-of-war between them went on for weeks, and they still couldn't come up with a name for their baby that they could agree on. So, they decided to put a notice up on the blackboard in the break room at work, and to ask fellow-employees for any suggestions they may have for the Nelson's baby. The following suggestions appeared for the Nelson's baby:

Baby Face Nelson
Full Nelson (wrestling term)
Half-Nelson (wrestling term)

OUT IN THE STREETS AND AROUND TOWN:

Something that really annoys me, is when I go into a store through the IN door...there is somebody coming the other way and goes OUT through the IN door! And, when I finish taking care of my business in the store, I proceed OUT the OUTdoor...only to have somebody come IN the OUT door! I've never been a conformist, so maybe I should change my ways. Next time I go to the store, I should do what everybody else does. Go IN the OUT door and come OUT the IN door! (People who do this, have what I call, that "ice cream truck mentality," ding-a-ling...ding-a-ling!)

* * * I love this one. One day, I was craving for an ice cream cone, one day, so I went into a fast-food restaurant and ordered one. The young man behind the counter asked me, "Sir, do you want that ice cream cone for HERE...or do you want it to GO?" (Hell-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o!) (Please don't make me scream!)

IF YOU DON'T SEE ANYTHING FUNNY...WHY DON'T YOU MAKE SOMETHING UP:

Most of us have a craving for something at some time or another...Mexican food, pickles; donuts and so forth. One day, I was craving green seedless grapes, and I had to have some, or I was going to go crazy! So, I went to the grocery store and got the grapes. When I went to pay for the grapes, I thought I would have a little fun with the grocery clerk.

The Express line sign reads: "20 items or less." There was nobody around in the express line, so I headed over there to check out, and I asked the clerk, "I have about 248 seedless grapes here, and I'm over the limit, so can you check me out since there are lines over at the other registers? The clerk looked at me like I needed help. "Yes, I can check you out here, because you only have ONE bundle of grapes...not 248 individual grapes...yes, you do have 248 grapes, sir...but, they are all in one bundle...am I confusing you...or am I confusing ME?" The clerk smiled, but I didn't get the laugh I thought I would get. So, when a person does spontaneous humor, you never know what you're going to get. In this case, I didn't get what I wanted, but maybe that's was just "sour grapes" on my part! (pun intended)

DECISIONS; DECISIONS:

I'm getting tired of making so many decisions during my lifetime! I need a break! It seems like everywhere I go, I have to make a decision...and it's getting old!

* I go into a department store to buy a shirt, and go up to the counter to pay for it, and the clerk asks me, "Sir, will this be cash...or charge?" (S-C-R-E-A-M!)

* I go to the pizza joint, and order a pizza and the clerk asks me, "Sir, do you want thick and chewy or thin and crispy?" (S-C-R-E-A-M!)

* I go to the ice cream store to get some ice cream, and the clerk asks me, "Sir, do you want a cup or a cone?" (S-C-R-E-A-M!)

* I go into the grocery store to pick up a few items, and I pay for them and the bag boy or girl asks me, "Sir, do you want plastic or paper?" (S-C-R-E-A-M!)

* * * I've been a football fan most of my life and I like to watch a game on occasion. When my wife and I were dating, I asked her if she liked football and if she knew anything about the game. Her answer, "Sure, I know a lot about football." I was a little skeptical, so I gave her a little quiz, and asked her what's a first down. Her answer, "That's the first player that gets knocked down," she said. (somebody get me some aspirin!)

* * * Because my computer blew up, I was going to a local community college located near-by to use their computers, until I could replace mine. The computer lab has about 65-70 computers for students and public use. One day, a woman came into the lab, and searched all around the lab to see if there was a computer available. That day, it was a packed house and no computers were available. She asked me what she could do, and in my, "off the wall humor," I said to her, "Why don't you yell out FIRE!"

STOP; LOOK AND LISTEN...and, if you do that, you'll get more ideas and more ideas for humor! In today's fast-paced society, people are running around so fast, I don't think they know if they're coming or going. STOP! People have to slow down a little! They have to stop and smell the roses. Set a little time aside for yourself...free of cell phones, lap tops; and no Blackberry, no blueberries, no strawberries; no wine berries; no cranberries...do you get my drift ?

LOOK: Pay more attention to the things around you. As you saw the newspaper boy story; the Nelson's and the baby story; the things in a store. One of the most important tools that I do, is to carry a small spiral notebook with me, so ideas don't get away. Even if I just jot down one word, I can remember it later on and work on the idea. It seems like when I write something down, I'll remember it, but if I don't I have trouble remembering. Try it for a while.

LISTEN: Stop talking about yourself so much, and listen to others for a change! They're are people in this country who are so obsessed, and see nobody else but themselves. Example: Driving in the morning, there are people who go to work...as they admire themselves in the rear-view mirror. You know the type...throwing kisses to themselves...not a hair out of place; the make-up and lipstick are just fine ; a little powder puff on the nose...and, I've seen a lot of WOMEN do this, too, on their way to work! I think we're talking about listening, here...are you listening? HELLO?

Nobody starts out in any endeavor as a professional. I have a big advantage, when it comes to humor, because I've been in it for over forty years. So, it's been a long learning period for me, and it will be a long learning period for you, too! But, everyone has to start someplace, and if you're interested in getting more humor into your life, I encourage you to do so. Good luck! And, as the Humor Doctor always says, "Take two aspirin, and DON'T ever call me in the morning!"

Article source: Expert Articles