I Wish I'd Have Thought of That Myself!

By: Vincent Harris
Submitted: 2007-01-17 15:05:13
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"Look, what you need to do is just quit eating so much and start exercising!" Perhaps you have been blessed with having a concerned family member assist you with such direct suggestions. Let me ask you, did it motivate you? Probably not, right? In fact, often times what happens is this: you resent the person who gave you that advice, and as a result, you do just the opposite, even if what they told you would have worked for the goal that you had. Crazy isn't it, yet, research shows that we will do things that are counter productive and that may actually cause us harm, to "get back" at those who have hurt us emotionally.

What's the solution then, when we desire to deliver information that we wish another to act upon? By talking in a way that does not trigger the defensive mechanisms of the listener/s, we can make that information available for consideration. Then, if after having considered it, the listener finds it useful, they can use in it an any way they deem appropriate.

I invite you to consider the experience I had several years ago. One day, while preparing for a meeting in which I would be speaking, I picked a pair of slacks out of the closet that I had not had on for three months. I was more than a bit frustrated when I found the pants a little to tight around my waist. Right there and then, I said to myself, " You have to increase the frequency of exercising and eat healthier foods!" Sometimes feeling less than satisfied with your situation can serve as the launching pad for a positive action, it certainly did for me.

Now, if we look back at this last paragraph, we can see that I began by "inviting" you to "consider" something. Isn't it true, that this "felt" much better than the alternative of, " Listen to this!"? Next, I did not tell "you" to exercise more and eat healthier, I just told you what I said to "myself." Packaged like this, you get to hear the same message, but it does not cause your "authority figure" alarm to go off, thus causing you to discount the message that may very well be useful.

I have assisted countless people in managerial positions to speak with more precision. Initially, they are often times skeptical of the impact that just a few changes in how they deliver their information can be to bring about change. After they have experienced first hand however, the rapid turn arounds that can, and do result from the changes they have made, they will never again talk as they once did.

Vincent Harris, Professional Speaker and Consultant www.vinceharris.com

Article source: Expert Articles

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