Sacred Love - Learning to Manage Your Life Around Love

By: Christopher Walker
Submitted: 2007-01-17 16:25:25
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I was doing a consultation with a lady when her ex-husband rang. The time was precious for her, but she answered the phone. She was in the consult with me because of her past relationship with him, and his violent abuse. Now, she was in consult, and she couldn’t turn the phone off. When she answered, I could hear him calling her every cuss that I wouldn’t use to a dog. She started to cry, but held the phone to her ear. Now, how much do you think this would affect her, and for how long? Firstly it is a phone, so she has put it straight to her ear, straight to her mind, the vibration of that phone and its penetration into her heart would be unstoppable.

It is such a great opportunity to consider “what is important”. If you want a relationship that is filled with love, then you’ll need to make love your highest priority. This seems easy and obvious when we are 19 years old, but when we turn 20, we seem to forget it.

It is so easy for our Mum and Dad, friends, other people, university, to draw on our resources and make our love for our lover the thing we do when we are finished with everything else. Married people whose relationships are devoid of love, search for friendships outside their marriage that “give them life”, and in so doing, often draw other couples apart. Parents who never grow up, keep sucking the life force out of their grown children in order to “get meaning” out of life. And children, children from a past marriage or this relationship, who were once disciplined to respect their role in a home, are now the dominant force in a relationship. Things have changed and love is suffering.

If you want a relationship to last, you had better make your relationship the most important thing in your life. Beyond the emotional drama of infatuation, making your relationship the most important thing in your life is a spiritual commitment to love. That love, rather than through the heart of a guru, religion or idol, becomes your lover. Your lover becomes your guru.

If you hold in your mind a fantasy of meeting a partner who will keep the peace, keep your private life calm, not disturb the life you have created as a single person, then you are a single person looking for a pleasure puppy. Better you buy a cat or a dog, especially one that doesn’t scratch or bite. But if you are looking for love and sacred relationship, then you better be ready to work for it. The absolute purpose of a sacred relationship is to give you pleasure and pain. Your mission must become to welcome them both with open arms.

There are a lot of people who read the books, do the yoga classes, attend the meditation and become obsessed with peace. Then they are locked out of sacred love, because sacred love is like nature. Nature is always adjusting herself, supporting the forest, destroying the forest. The cycle is always going on like this, over and over and over. So if you meet someone and they are only wanting peace, you can love them, but know they can never find sacred love. They are stuck in the first level.

In my kayak, I go alone into the ocean, because I know how to Eskimo roll. But in Nepal when I am trekking I always take a porter/guide because I don’t know how to climb up out of a snow storm alone. In business, I have an MBA and lots of experience, so I am not afraid to build business, because I know how to “get through challenges”. In love, I know how to deal with emotions and challenges, so I am not afraid to love.

But if your ego is rigid, and this has become your priority (seeking peaceful life is the sign of a rigid ego that has stopped growing), then you have become your own guru and there is a disaster. Love needs a mirror, a mirror in which you do not see what you want to see, but more importantly, so you see reality. Reality gets you past your layers of ego. Relationship is the only guru that is honest. To say you are your own guru is like masturbation becoming sex. Instead of improving your intimacy with your lover, it kills it.

Article source: Expert Articles