Getting Over Commitment Issues With Your Man

By: Teeja Hivsbob
Submitted: 2008-05-20 12:46:41
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The one thing long-term couples may probably disagree with is when to settle down for a long-term commitment. Marriage, that is.

While you picture yourself spending a lifetime with your partner, the other may not be as enthusiastic about it. This is because men and women think differently, and no matter what your notions are coming into your relationship, you both have to work this out before you move on to the next level.

You also need to ask yourself basic questions before intimating to your partner that you want to tie the knot soon, unless your hubby has already popped the ring, and it is you who hesitate in saying yes.

If your guy isn't keen on getting married, or at least not right now, you should consider his reasons for deciding on such; usually it's a financial or emotional problem, which he has to deal with before can move on. Maybe he's not yet ready because he still has to ensure your future as a couple, with a stable job and a home to build your lives in.

If the reason is a personal one and he doesn't want to go into details, then you shouldn't prod him into revealing it; this may drive him away from your relationship to the point that he wants a breakup. There may be something in his family or his past which gets in the way of his decision, and apart from offering him a counseling session, all you can do is wait for him to open up.

If both of you believe that marriage is a possibility in the near future, and he is even hinting on an engagement, you have to be prepared to accept your man as he is. This means that you should know him enough to love him, even if he keeps on leaving the toilet seat up, or even if you have discovered a private cache of adult videos in his closet.

A word about adult videos: these are not necessarily a turn off. Sometimes, a guy's sexual drive reaches a point that it can no longer be suppressed, and he has to find an outlet for it. Once you get together, who knows, you might even be willing to use adult videos to spice up your relationship. Your guy isn't perfect, but you probably know that already, and may even love him all the more for it.

Remember, commitment is a two way street. You can't force it on a person, and no one can do the same to you. If you have years of romantic history between the two of you, and if you believe that since you're not getting any younger, you might want to have children soon, tell your partner how you feel, and be prepared to accept his reactions.

If he isn't keen on having children and you are, there's a serious problem. But all things change, and he may turn out to be a great father if he gets over his issues. Either way, you can set your relationship up for marriage with your support, and probably with a relationship counselor's advice.

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