People are Saying...But, I Believe That

By: Sanjeev Himachali
Submitted: 2007-01-17 16:24:52
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People are Saying…But, I Believe That…

Hearing v/s believing…thinking v/s trusting, this is one topic that flashed into my mind when I went for my morning walk. Do you remember last time when your boss scolded you, how he started his attack? Or when your spouse started fight with you…what were the first few words? Or when your parents scold you the last time…how they started? Let me jog your memories and say that most of the time…it starts with following or any of the following phrases:

1) I heard that…
2) I think that…
3) People are saying that…
4) XYZ was saying that… etc etc etc

At that time, how you start explaining your side? If you are in front of your boss or in front of your parents…most of the times, most of the Indians…become submissive and they accept whatever is bombarded on them. They become coward. With spouse…till recently wives use to adopt the above-mentioned defence, whereas these days, even spouses fight it out.

Let me know, if I am right in making this conclusion.

So, what is actually required if you are facing any such situation…if you are in such situation. I think the most important thing is to maintain your cool and try to have a smile on your face. If you are showing that you are actually not getting affected by the outburst of the person…and over and above that, if you are smiling…believe me, you are actually reducing his energy and defeating his purpose. On the other side, if you are shivering…not confident…your eyes are watery and low, and then you are giving the other person a chance to control you…and dominate you.

Let's see this illustration:

Boss: I have heard that you are not cooperating with the team and you have lots of attitude problem. See, if that is the way, it will be very difficult to work.

Subordinate: (Standing Calmly without any expression on the face)

Boss: Because of you, there are so many problems in the team. People are complaining about you. I just don’t know, what to do? I am fed-up…listening to all this.

Subordinate: (Still, expression less) …Sir, I also have heard many things about you, from different people…from people within the team. Should I believe what they are saying or should I believe what I know about you and believe about you? Did I complain about anybody? If they are complaining to you…that means, they have problems in working with me…working in team. It is up to you to whom you want to believe.

Boss: (He was just looking around)

It is not, what people are saying, is important. Important is, what you believe. At times, even parents also come and say that “XYZ was saying something about you” or “I heard this or that about you” etc etc. I think, when we are staying with our parents 24/7…day-in…day-out. Should they believe what others are saying or should they believe what we are saying?

In every management school…they teach us not to take unilateral decisions. They teach us to speak to or listen to all the concerned parties before making any conclusion or before taking any decision. Correct me, if I am wrong.

Even in friendships…in marriages…most of the time…they fight because “people are saying something”…because “they have heard something from someone, about you”.

So, I think it is not important as what people are saying about someone, you are known to…or you are working with…or you are in relation with. The important thing is, what you belief…what you know about the other person. We all are very good in politics…office politics…harming others…growing on others. So, you just need to see, if the other person is trying to use you and your position…for his interest…in harming someone he is not comfortable with.

I think, there is a need to introspect and to create your own “value system”.

Looking forward to your comments and feedback.

With lots of love and care,

Sanjeev Sharma (Himachali)
E-mail: ss_himachali@yahoo.com; sanjeev.himachali@gmail.com
Blog: http://sanjeevhimachali.blogspot.com/

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