Kabbalah-the Remedy for Failing Marriages

By: Anna Zorina
Submitted: 2008-07-02 00:17:04
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A friend of mine recently had a baby. The first thing she did when she found out about her pregnancy was to break up with her boyfriend. “I don’t want him around; he is getting on my nerves, and I don’t want to depend on him,” she said. Shortly after the birth she moved in with her parents and happily put the baby in their caring hands. “So, this is what you call being ‘independent’?” I asked her, and she replied, “At least I know they won’t hurt me, or my child.”

Feelings of insecurity are particularly common among women nowadays. They don’t see what they desire to see in their men, and prefer to end relationships, raise children on their own or even not have children at all, rather than feel vulnerable.

It’s extremely hard to meet a woman who feels happy about her man. Not so much in the early days of relationships, when both people try to be the best for each other, but later, when they relax and start being their regular selves - that’s when all the problems start, and things like “he doesn’t love me anymore” are said.

When we say this, we really mean that we stopped receiving what we used to receive from our partners. Attention, affection, sex, dedication to family needs – we all want pretty much the same things from our partners, and very rarely do we feel that we are being given enough.

This results in painful breakups, when both sides feel equally miserable. And when the same misery repeats over and over again, it grows into desperation and, what’s even worse, cynicism. We stop believing in happy relationships, prefer not to trust anyone, and choose being alone over being hurt.

And when we look for those happy marriages, what do we see? Any woman who manages to run a household, raise children and be a good wife will tell you that the only way to be happy is to think about giving to others, to make their desires your desires, to share and accept everything from your loved ones. And their men somehow manage to be perfect – at least to an outsider’s perception – because their women support and approve of them and everything that they do.

Usually we are jealous of such men and women, thinking that they must be from another planet and that we will never manage to be as altruistic and generous in our family life as they are.

But that’s not true; we are all capable of it. Kabbalah explains that once you start building your relationship in accordance with the main principle of Nature—love and bestowal, everything changes around you. This principle can also be phrased as, “Love your neighbor as you love yourself,” a phrase that is very familiar to us. We hear it all the time, from so many people, and read it in books – very important and popular books, such as the Bible. Yet we are used to thinking that this is something unachievable.

How can we rise above our egos and start caring for others? The method to do so is the wisdom of Kabbalah. Just like we learn to speak, read, or do anything else in life, this method enables us to understand and control our egoistic nature, and thereby attain long-lasting, harmonious relationships.

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