Tips to a Great Marriage – Their Needs

By: Brandi Simon
Submitted: 2007-01-17 16:24:27
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The number one thing you can do to have a great marriage is such a simple concept but it’s really something that is hard for most people to implement. You spend the majority of your time focusing on what you need and want. I want my husband to do this but he doesn’t, I need for her to show me more affection. The list is endless!

When is the last time you stopped worrying about getting your needs and wants met and focused only on meeting those of your spouse? Because we live in a world that is focused on “what’s in it for me” I’ll bet it’s been a long time.

My husband, like most husbands, has a strong physical need. When I am going out of my way, selflessly putting my hurts aside to meet his physical needs then he in turn begins to meet my needs and sooner rather than later I don’t feel those hurts that I had to put aside. We are both satisfied and we are both willingly working towards meeting each others needs. No nagging on my part no sulking on his part, just a genuine desire to meet each others needs.

I must caution you however. You should go into this with the sole purpose of being a better spouse to your mate because to go in with the expectation that if you meet the needs of your spouse then your needs will automatically be met will defeat the purpose of this exercise. You should never do something only attempting to gain from it. That is not only selfish but also manipulating and will backfire on you. You will grow resentful when your spouse does not begin to meet your needs within some predetermined time frame set in your mind.

Begin doing this today. If you don’t know what your spouses needs are just ask what you can do for them. Quite frankly that may be enough to make their head spin right there, if you’ve never been one to offer to help. However; you will need to find out what his/her needs are if you are to meet them the following day.

I challenge you to begin this today and don’t stop. At the end of the month email me and tell me how your marriage has improved and better yet, how you have improved as a person.

Brandi Simon is the owner of Marital Matters where she offers articles and information for those suffering the effects of an extramarital affair and other relationship issues. Brandi is an affair survivor who has successfully rebuilt her marriage from the ashes and offers advice to those who are recovering. To learn more about the website or Brandi, please visit Marital Matters. You may also like to visit our blog where we post a weekly topic not available anywhere else on our site at blog.

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