When You Say you're Sorry, Mean It

By: George Wood
Submitted: 2007-01-17 16:24:27
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Just saying sorry when you have done something wrong or hurt another person’s feelings is not enough to rectify the hurt you might have caused. When we are arguing or trying desperately to prove our point, we sometimes unintentionally hurt the person who is listening to us. As soon as we realize our mistake, we immediately say sorry and think that our duty has been fulfilled. We want things to be as normal as they were before. But that is not possible if we’re not genuinely sorry. You say you’re sorry just to keep the relationship on track. If you don’t mean it chances are the other person is never going to forgive you.

Often people keep grudges in their hearts against other people just because of small matters. If you don’t clarify things on the spot they might come back at some point later in your life and turn out to be some occasions where you made a mistake and did not resolve it properly before moving on.

Whenever you apologize make sure you mean it. Don’t bring in third parties to talk to the person you have offended. Always handle your personal matters yourself, especially if the person you have hurt is your lover or a dear friend. If you think saying sorry in person is not going to be that much effective, then write a letter, buy a card or simply email your friend and tell them your true feelings without hesitation. Tell them that you will never make such a mistake again.

Also make sure that the time you have selected to apologize is the right time. If the person you have hurt is not in a position to listen to you then don’t press them. Give them sometime to think and then send an apology note. Accept the fact that you were wrong when you hurt their feelings and promise that you are going to be extremely careful in future.

A genuine apology is the one that sets things straight between two people and neither of them keeps a grudge. If you think that you were right then wait for a little while before realizing your next action. Think again about your argument. You do owe an apology to a person if you used harsh words or said something you shouldn’t have said. But before saying that you’re sorry make up your mind and then honestly tell the other person that what happened was not right and that you two should try to set things straight.

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