Why I Wrote Russian Brides: How to Woo, Win, and Wed the Woman of Your Dreams

By: John Kunkle
Submitted: 2007-01-17 16:25:30
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Five years ago, I was single and lonely. I had just ended my third long term relationship in ten years. I vowed that I wasn't going to search for a mate from the standpoint of 'libido' anymore. I wasn't going to let things 'just happen.'

I was going to be more scientific in my search. I was going to approach my search for a potential mate like a job search. I was going to 'interview' women as though they were job candidates.

I met plenty of women over the next year. I 'interviewed' about twenty-five of them. No, my purpose wasn’t to be intimate with them. I 'interviewed' them.

My overwhelming discovery was that the women I was involved with in my previous relationships were really more of a match for me than any of the women I had interviewed in the last year since those relationships had ended.

In other words, I had met the best women for me and my relationships still failed.

I thought about this a lot. What it said to me was that it wasn't the type or the quality of the women I had met that was wrong, it was that the commitment level wasn't there.

As soon as life's fortunes turned, as soon as somebody ran up the credit card or burned the roast, they were out the door.

I joked with my friends that they should change the wedding vows. You know the ones: 'in sickness and in health; for richer or for poorer; for better or for worse; until death do you part.'

The revised vows should read: ‘for better not worse; for richer not poorer; for health not sickness; till somebody better comes along.’

This isn't just about women. Men are guilty of this too. Look at the number of politicians, celebrities, or executives in our country who jettison their spouse when the latest and greatest inspiration comes along.

The missing ingredient was COMMITMENT.

My friend Tom defines commitment this way:

“Commitment is what transforms a promise into reality. It is the words that speak boldly of our intentions, and the actions which speak louder than words. It is making the time when there is none…. Coming through time after time after time, year after year after year. Commitment is the stuff character is made of, the power to change the face of things. It is the daily triumph of integrity over skepticism.”

One day I got an unsolicited email from ICQ asking if I wanted to post my picture and bio on their website. I figured, 'aw, what have I got to lose.' I spent an hour writing up my bio and emailed it to them along with a photo of me.

One definition of insanity is doing the same things over and over again and expecting different results. I figured that the way I found a mate in the past wasn’t working, so I was willing to try something different.

About two days later, I got an email from a thirty-year-old woman from Ukraine. I was honest in my bio. My age at the time was forty-five. I am average looking for my age. Certainly no movie star.

This woman was young, beautiful, educated, and spoke English fairly well. She had a master's degree in engineering and spoke five languages. We started emailing each other and soon we were corresponding every day.

Before I knew it, we had a torrid letter writing romance going. Soon I was calling her on the telephone. After several months, she asked me to come and see her. I arranged a ten-day trip together through Austria.

After a few days, it was obvious to me that we were not destined to be together for the rest of our lives. But let me tell you, these Russian women get under your skin. They are beautiful, intelligent, charming, feminine, passionate, manipulative, conniving, and thoroughly engaging.

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