Are You Lonely? Tips That Will Change Your Life

By: Svetlana Polyakova
Submitted: 2007-01-17 16:23:42
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“Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty” -- Mother Teresa

Are you lonely? In this whole wide world with over ten billion living homo sapiens, you are lonely?? “Loneliness is taking epidemic proportions in the world today”, said a renowned physiatrist to a hapless patient. “Who cares” she thought, “I am the one who is lonely, so what do I care if the whole world is in the same boat. No one is riding alongside me right now.”

I read somewhere and I quote "See through the mist and find yourself, you need never be lonely again". All horse crap. All of us go through the bouts of loneliness and some of us just don’t seem to get out of it. I agree that the world is lonely today and perhaps has always been. That does not solve my problem one little bit. I am lonely and I want something to happen before my loneliness take its toll on me and the people around me.

Worry no further. Help is at hand. First and foremost we need to understand the concept of loneliness. I have known people who do not feel lonely living in jungles, while I have also encountered specimen (I too have suffered) who are lonely in a happening party with his girlfriend by his side and a wallet full of notes in his pocket.

We begin by defining what do we mean by loneliness (sourced from Wikipedia ). “Loneliness is an emotional state in which a person experiences a powerful feeling of emptiness and isolation. Loneliness is more than just the feeling of wanting company or wanting to do something with another person. Loneliness is a feeling of being cut off, disconnected, and/or alienated from other people, so that it feels difficult or even impossible to have any form of meaningful human contact. Lonely people often feel empty or hollow inside. Feelings of separation or isolation from the world are common amongst those that are lonely. The first record of the word "lonely" being used was in a play by William Shakespeare.”

Loneliness should not be equated with being alone. Everyone has times when they are alone for situational reasons, or because they have chosen to be alone. Being alone could be experienced as positive, pleasurable, and emotionally nourishing if it is under the individual's control. Solitude is the state of being alone and secluded from other people, and often implies having made a conscious choice to be alone. But this is not about trying to understand the concept behind what is and what is not loneliness. It is about trying to come to an understanding about what to do when you are in such a bout which can, technically be termed as loneliness. Presented is a ten step strategy to come back to a normal state from the bouts of loneliness. These tips are assured to get you out of the gloom of unhappiness, brought about by a bout of loneliness, and on your way to a bright day.

1. Take a deep breath. Inhale and exhale. Let the tension in your body blow away. Repeat this five times. Let the oxygen content refill your lungs and refresh you to take the next step to happiness. Remember, breathing is the key to happiness. You need to keep breathing evenly throughout the ten steps.

2. Remember people around you. Try and think of them and visualize them talking nicely to you. Visualize you replying back, laughing, chatting with them.

3. Try and reach out the friend you trust most, or atleast trusted prior to coming into this stage. If you are not fine with this one, then go to the next best in the order till you home onto one. Pick up the phone. Call him/her.

4. No friend in the list? Get out of the claustrophobic surroundings. Go out of the house. Get some fresh air. See the latest ipod, or the car in the showroom. Do some window shopping. Beware; limit yourself to window shopping, Judge the things in the window for their worth and plan on a future date to shop it.

5. Pick up a new activity. Something you have not done in a long time. Just pick up the most absurd thing that you can think of and start doing it with a passion. It must not be a normal chore, but something really exotic, something wonderful, something new.

6. A very effective, but unfortunately least used way is to help someone when you are lonely. Believe me, it works. The empathy which is created within you to help out an individual will soon overshadow your own loneliness and you are sure to feel better again.

7. Try teaching someone, and better still, teach yourself something. Something you are sure of and want to relearn it just for the pleasure of it.

8. Get into physical activity. Idling, crouching or sitting in front of a TV will only increase the feeling of loneliness. Get out, take the pair of sneakers and shoes out and go for a workout. Get the adrenaline pumping.

9. Be patient and reasonable to your self. Stop accusing yourself and others for the state that you are in right now. Take a pragmatic view of the whole situation and stop thinking drastically. Remember, the key to getting out of this loneliness bout is the simplicity in planning for it. Say to yourself, “I am good and I want to be happy. I will be happy. I have nice people around myself and I will be in their company”.

10. A really useful tip for the end- If all those above don’t work, go back to tip number one and try again. This is bound to work.

Some of the positive affirmatives which are abound on the net are worth mentioning. Speak aloud, say to yourself, “I am not alone. I am not lonely. I am with friends”, and lo behold, you are no longer lonely.

Beauty and Fashion consultant, Svetlana Polyakova from SecretstoImpress.com specializes in teaching men and women the fine techniques of how to meet to meet that special person, dress to impress, beauty & Fashion tips and etiquette.

Virginia Beauty and Fashion consultant, Svetlana Polyakova from SecretstoImpress.com specializes in teaching men and women the fine techniques of how to meet to meet that special person, dress to impress, beauty & Fashion tips and etiquette.

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