Choosing Your Divorce Method

By: Kyle Chambers
Submitted: 2007-01-17 16:23:56
Print this article | Tell a friend | For publisher | Social Bookmarking
Rating:
 

The biggest mistake that people make when getting divorced is that they fail to plan. They simply decide to leave the relationship and then enter and ugly and expensive battle that ends up hurting everyone involved. There are some things that you could accidentally do that will make your divorce 100 time more miserable than it really has to be.

As with anything in life, you need to have a plan. The same is true for divorce. If you dont plan for what you want - chances are you won't get what you want. The first step towards having a plan is to know exactly what you want. After you know what you want you can plan to get it.

Here is an excercise: (Get our a piece of paper and a pencil. Write the answers down to the following.)

  1. Decide how much money you want (realistically) our of your divorce.

  2. Decide how often you would like to see the children (if you have any)

  3. Determine if the divorce will be uncontested or an all out battle.

  4. Determine "when" you want to be divorced.

  5. Write down all the possessions that you want (realistically).

  6. Write down any other 'details' that you want established in your divorce.

Take a few minutes and try to put everything you can on this list. You will always be able to add to it later.

Now that you have made your list, go back and reread the list. Cross off everything on the list that isn't worth fighting for, or doing hard work to get. You can save yourself a lot of hassle by knowing what not to ight for. If it really isn't worth it to you - then don't worry about it.

Important Note: The things that you crossed off the list as things you didn't want to fight for are things that you can 'pretend to be willing to fight for'! So when you negotiate you can mention that you have to have these things. Then you can "trade" them for more important things that you really want.

Now you have a list of everything that you want. Be sure to include intangible things like "peace of mind", and other concepts that aren't related to physical stuff. This is important because you will be using this list to get every thing you want out of your divorce.

Now you need to take your list and figure out a time line. If you want to get divorced in 3 months, you should probably already be contacting a lawyer. This brings up another point. Choosing the wrong lawyer can absolutely devestate the entire divorce process for you. There is a way to choose the perfect lawyer but you can ask me about that later.

It is also important that you DON'T tell your spouse that you want a divorce until you have followed the right steps to make sure all of your bases are covered. There may be some financial things that you want to take care of BEFORE you tell your spouse you want a divorce. If you just lose it and tell them you want a divorce, they won't let you change names on the mortgage, car, checking account, etc...

So you need to plan ahead. If you can plan ahead things will go smoother. Now if you are already in the middle of a divorce, there are still things you can plan for and other ways to get everything you want also. You need access to come easy to use tricks that can help you negotiate for everything you want. This article does not cover those tactics because there are too many to list here. A key factor in your negotiating skills is making your spouse believe that they are getting a better deal than you. There are ways to do this. If you can't get them to believe they are getting a better deal, then you need to employ stronger tactics to get what you want. You will be able to use the items that you crossed off of your list as leverage in your negotiations.

It is vitally important that you plan for divorce with the right divorce method. From the list you just made, you can make a detailed divorce method of your own to get exactly what you want from your divorce. You should also seek out special techniques that will accelerate the results of your plan. If there is a way that you can tap into the experience of thousands of people to get results, you should do so. I am not saying this to be mysterious. If you read every last word of this article you will know where to find those resources.

Now take action and work your plan!

Wishing You Happiness in Divorce,

Kyle Chambers

About The Author

Kyle Chambers is a specialist at getting the most financially and mentally out of your divorce. Hundreds of people have already benefitted by little-known tricks in getting more money, custody rights, and just about everything else you want from your divorce. To get the most out of your divorce go to http://www.DivorceMethod.com.

Article source: Expert Articles

Most Recent Articles in Divorce category

  • Divorce Lawyer NY: The Answer To Your Worries. - By: Damyel Flower
    Divorce Lawyer NY provides you a service but also assist you like a friend. It will not only help you but also understand your needs.
  • Divorce lawyer NYC for legal assistance - By: Damyel Flower
    So, if you are also looking forward to get a divorce in New York, it is better to start searching for a divorce lawyer today! There are both affordable and expensive lawyers in New York. You can hire the one that suits both your requirements and budget.
  • Ensure Peace of Mind with Divorce Lawyer New York - By: Damyel Flower
    Selecting a divorce lawyer New York is essential to fight for your legal rights, it may be property distribution or child custody. You must think about it practically and strengthen yourself to fight the case with great courage.
  • Divorce: You Can't Always Get What You Want - By: Shelley Stile
    The Rolling Stones were actually very smart. They were dead-on when they sang that you can't always get what you want but you get what you need... that is if you are paying attention to what is being offered. When we wish, pray or hope for something, what we actually might be gifted with is the situation in which to manifest that gift.
  • Divorce: So-Called Mistakes are Life Lessons - By: Shelley Stile
    Your divorce is not a failure or a mistake. People miss an incredible opportunity to learn, grow and change for the better when they view their divorce through the lens of failure. A so-called failure is actually a lesson in how not to do something and an invaluable tool for doing things right and in your self-interest in the future.
  • Why to Select an Efficient Divorce Lawyer NYC? - By: Damyel Flower
    An efficient divorce lawyer NYC helps you to settle matters such as child custody and division of financial assets at the time of divorce and represents you in the court of law.
  • Winning Visitation Rights - By: Veronica Scott
    Families are meant to live harmoniously together. This includes both nuclear as well as extended families. However, this does not happen often due to complexity of humankind. Grandparents are always nice to their grand children. It is a common scenario for a grandparent to pamper his or grandchild with gifts and nice treatment. This explains the tight bond between grandparents and their grand children.
  • Divorce Recovery: Acceptance of What Was and What Is - By: Shelley Stile
    The clients who come to me for help in letting go and moving on after their divorces discover that acceptance, a mandatory step in divorce recovery, comes in two stages. First we work to be in acceptance of the end of our marriage and then we move on to accept what our life is now, in the present. This second step in the acceptance process seems to be the more difficult hurdle to overcome but it can be overcome successfully.
  • Divorce Recovery: Are Your Fears Holding You Back? - By: Shelley Stile
    Divorce turns our lives upside down. It throws us into a major life transition that is colored by intense feelings and emotions that can be debilitating. I believe that fear is the main culprit that holds us back from not only healing and letting go of our pain, but also from moving forward into a new life. So it is fear we need to identify and then overcome.
  • Victimhood: The Curse of Divorce Recovery - By: Shelley Stile
    Victimhood: The Curse of Divorce Recovery Feeling or labeling yourself a victim of your divorce is one of the most disastrous moves you can make. It will prevent you from moving forward into a new life. Victimhood renders you powerless. To create a new life after your divorce takes a person who is fully responsible for their past, present and future. Being responsible means having control over one's life and that is what it takes to both recover from the emotional wounds of a divorce as well as plan for your new life.