Deal With Divorce By Dealing With Anger

By: Gary Kelly
Submitted: 2007-01-17 16:23:55
Print this article | Tell a friend | For publisher | Social Bookmarking
Rating:
 

There is one very simple way to deal with your anger while going through a nasty divorce.

Divorce is a messy business. There is approximately a fifty percent chance you are divorced if you are over forty and reading this article.

Theories abound as it relates to the various stages one goes through while in the midst of a divorce. Some divorces can be easy and amicable, while others make War Of The Roses look like a Sunday school meeting on a warm summer day in August.

Having survived the first year of a separation / divorce, I can look back and see certain “moments” when I realized there was a fundamental change in the way I thought about a particular subject.

About five or six months into my rather messy divorce, I was having a particularly brutal conversation with my stubborn ex-wife. When I got off the phone I was feeling very upset and angry. Many unanswered questions swirled around in my head. How could she leave with the children? Why am I being treated like a deadbeat dad? How could this be so unfair?

Feelings of deep-rooted frustration constricted my chest. I recall looking at myself in the mirror and coming to the realization I had to get rid of the anger that was eating me up inside. The anger was killing me. If it didn’t kill me right away, anger would have put me in an early grave.

How did I learn to deal with the anger?

I learned to accept the fact that I was getting the short end of the stick.

There have been specific situations I have dealt with during the past year that have been completely unjust and unfair. The moment I learned to accept the mauling I was experiencing was the precise moment my life changed the most.

This philosophy is plain and simple to say, yet multi-faceted and complex to implement.

When you go through a divorce, both parties end up loosing. Unfortunately, the children often end up loosing the most. When you are faced with obstacles and barriers that seem so unfair during the course of a divorce, remember one thing – they probably are unfair. Chances are you are not being treated fairly.

We always do not get what we want in life. How we deal with the little surprises life has to offer us is the real measure of our character. During a divorce, some things will seem very unfair. Anger can be very useful but this emotion is best served left over during the main course of a divorce.

Yeah an ex might have screwed you but the important thing is to move on and forget about it. Recently I have spoken with a number of people with personal experience in divorce and separation. Most people have suggested to me, the parent with the most anger during a divorce ultimately ends up loosing. Children will be drawn to a happy parent rather then a parent filled with hate and anger.

If you have kids and are currently in the middle of a divorce, you would be well served to remember one small thing – don’t focus your energy on anger towards a ex, focus your energy on love towards your children. You will be much better off in the long run.

Gary Kelly is co-creator of the online dating website for golfers, http://www.DateAGolfer.com and http://www.PuttingForPar.com, a golf website specializing in personalized ball markers.

Article source: Expert Articles

Most Recent Articles in Divorce category

  • Divorce Lawyer NY: The Answer To Your Worries. - By: Damyel Flower
    Divorce Lawyer NY provides you a service but also assist you like a friend. It will not only help you but also understand your needs.
  • Divorce lawyer NYC for legal assistance - By: Damyel Flower
    So, if you are also looking forward to get a divorce in New York, it is better to start searching for a divorce lawyer today! There are both affordable and expensive lawyers in New York. You can hire the one that suits both your requirements and budget.
  • Ensure Peace of Mind with Divorce Lawyer New York - By: Damyel Flower
    Selecting a divorce lawyer New York is essential to fight for your legal rights, it may be property distribution or child custody. You must think about it practically and strengthen yourself to fight the case with great courage.
  • Divorce: You Can't Always Get What You Want - By: Shelley Stile
    The Rolling Stones were actually very smart. They were dead-on when they sang that you can't always get what you want but you get what you need... that is if you are paying attention to what is being offered. When we wish, pray or hope for something, what we actually might be gifted with is the situation in which to manifest that gift.
  • Divorce: So-Called Mistakes are Life Lessons - By: Shelley Stile
    Your divorce is not a failure or a mistake. People miss an incredible opportunity to learn, grow and change for the better when they view their divorce through the lens of failure. A so-called failure is actually a lesson in how not to do something and an invaluable tool for doing things right and in your self-interest in the future.
  • Why to Select an Efficient Divorce Lawyer NYC? - By: Damyel Flower
    An efficient divorce lawyer NYC helps you to settle matters such as child custody and division of financial assets at the time of divorce and represents you in the court of law.
  • Winning Visitation Rights - By: Veronica Scott
    Families are meant to live harmoniously together. This includes both nuclear as well as extended families. However, this does not happen often due to complexity of humankind. Grandparents are always nice to their grand children. It is a common scenario for a grandparent to pamper his or grandchild with gifts and nice treatment. This explains the tight bond between grandparents and their grand children.
  • Divorce Recovery: Acceptance of What Was and What Is - By: Shelley Stile
    The clients who come to me for help in letting go and moving on after their divorces discover that acceptance, a mandatory step in divorce recovery, comes in two stages. First we work to be in acceptance of the end of our marriage and then we move on to accept what our life is now, in the present. This second step in the acceptance process seems to be the more difficult hurdle to overcome but it can be overcome successfully.
  • Divorce Recovery: Are Your Fears Holding You Back? - By: Shelley Stile
    Divorce turns our lives upside down. It throws us into a major life transition that is colored by intense feelings and emotions that can be debilitating. I believe that fear is the main culprit that holds us back from not only healing and letting go of our pain, but also from moving forward into a new life. So it is fear we need to identify and then overcome.
  • Victimhood: The Curse of Divorce Recovery - By: Shelley Stile
    Victimhood: The Curse of Divorce Recovery Feeling or labeling yourself a victim of your divorce is one of the most disastrous moves you can make. It will prevent you from moving forward into a new life. Victimhood renders you powerless. To create a new life after your divorce takes a person who is fully responsible for their past, present and future. Being responsible means having control over one's life and that is what it takes to both recover from the emotional wounds of a divorce as well as plan for your new life.