Divorce: Avoid These Common Traps

By: Ed Sherman
Submitted: 2007-01-17 16:25:10
Print this article | Tell a friend | For publisher | Social Bookmarking
Rating:
 

Ignorance is the most common trap you will face when getting divorced. To get through your divorce with the most peace of mind, while spending the least amount of money, you need to know all the facts and have all relevant documents in order.

  • It's tempting to ignore financial details, but if you don't take the trouble to understand what's going on in your financial life and what you're entitled to, you might as well hang a big "victim" sign around your neck.

  • Ignorance makes you feel helpless and makes it easy for you to be manipulated into accepting a bad deal.

  • The worst thing you can do is go to a lawyer without any information or preparation and ask for a divorce. You'll waste a lot of time and money, and you won't receive the respect given an informed client.

Bad Judgment is a real hazard when emotions are running high, as is normal in divorce. Insecurity can cripple you. Fear and anger can make you grasp for too much or surrender too much, leading to a settlement you may regret.

  • Keep business and emotional issues separate.

  • Don't jump to sudden conclusions or make impulsive agreements.

  • Don't sign anything you haven't thought about or don't understand.

Excessive Spending is very common before, during and after a separation. It is used as an anesthetic for emotional pain. After separation you need money to set up two separate lifestyles, and can't afford neurotic spending driven by emotional upset.

  • Control impulsive and compulsive spending the same way you would control neurotic eating habits.

  • Do all you can to keep yourself open, centered and strong.

  • Deal with your emotional issues instead of reacting and running from them.

Hiding Money can happen when it becomes clear that a divorce is coming and one spouse starts salting money away in a private stash.

  • This is OK if you do it without cheating--it can give you a sense of security, independence and control.

  • Be on the lookout for cheating, where your spouse may be secretly diverting marital assets into a separate account. You may need an attorney to protect the marital estate and your interest in it.

  • When a divorce is coming, watch where income goes and keep a close eye on account withdrawals. Take a close look at financial transactions during the previous year.

If you make the effort to avoid the common divorce traps of ignorance, bad judgment, excessive spending, and hiding money it will pay off handsomely in reduced conflict, stress and expense during your divorce.

Ed Sherman is a family law attorney, divorce expert, and founder of Nolo Press. He started the self-help law movement in 1971 when he published the first edition of "How to Do Your Own Divorce," and founded the paralegal industry in 1973. Ed has saved the public billions of dollars in legal fees while making divorce go more smoothly and easily for millions of readers. You can order his books from http://www.nolodivorce.com or by calling (800) 464-5502.

Article source: Expert Articles

Most Recent Articles in Divorce category

  • Divorce Lawyer NY: The Answer To Your Worries. - By: Damyel Flower
    Divorce Lawyer NY provides you a service but also assist you like a friend. It will not only help you but also understand your needs.
  • Divorce lawyer NYC for legal assistance - By: Damyel Flower
    So, if you are also looking forward to get a divorce in New York, it is better to start searching for a divorce lawyer today! There are both affordable and expensive lawyers in New York. You can hire the one that suits both your requirements and budget.
  • Ensure Peace of Mind with Divorce Lawyer New York - By: Damyel Flower
    Selecting a divorce lawyer New York is essential to fight for your legal rights, it may be property distribution or child custody. You must think about it practically and strengthen yourself to fight the case with great courage.
  • Divorce: You Can't Always Get What You Want - By: Shelley Stile
    The Rolling Stones were actually very smart. They were dead-on when they sang that you can't always get what you want but you get what you need... that is if you are paying attention to what is being offered. When we wish, pray or hope for something, what we actually might be gifted with is the situation in which to manifest that gift.
  • Divorce: So-Called Mistakes are Life Lessons - By: Shelley Stile
    Your divorce is not a failure or a mistake. People miss an incredible opportunity to learn, grow and change for the better when they view their divorce through the lens of failure. A so-called failure is actually a lesson in how not to do something and an invaluable tool for doing things right and in your self-interest in the future.
  • Why to Select an Efficient Divorce Lawyer NYC? - By: Damyel Flower
    An efficient divorce lawyer NYC helps you to settle matters such as child custody and division of financial assets at the time of divorce and represents you in the court of law.
  • Winning Visitation Rights - By: Veronica Scott
    Families are meant to live harmoniously together. This includes both nuclear as well as extended families. However, this does not happen often due to complexity of humankind. Grandparents are always nice to their grand children. It is a common scenario for a grandparent to pamper his or grandchild with gifts and nice treatment. This explains the tight bond between grandparents and their grand children.
  • Divorce Recovery: Acceptance of What Was and What Is - By: Shelley Stile
    The clients who come to me for help in letting go and moving on after their divorces discover that acceptance, a mandatory step in divorce recovery, comes in two stages. First we work to be in acceptance of the end of our marriage and then we move on to accept what our life is now, in the present. This second step in the acceptance process seems to be the more difficult hurdle to overcome but it can be overcome successfully.
  • Divorce Recovery: Are Your Fears Holding You Back? - By: Shelley Stile
    Divorce turns our lives upside down. It throws us into a major life transition that is colored by intense feelings and emotions that can be debilitating. I believe that fear is the main culprit that holds us back from not only healing and letting go of our pain, but also from moving forward into a new life. So it is fear we need to identify and then overcome.
  • Victimhood: The Curse of Divorce Recovery - By: Shelley Stile
    Victimhood: The Curse of Divorce Recovery Feeling or labeling yourself a victim of your divorce is one of the most disastrous moves you can make. It will prevent you from moving forward into a new life. Victimhood renders you powerless. To create a new life after your divorce takes a person who is fully responsible for their past, present and future. Being responsible means having control over one's life and that is what it takes to both recover from the emotional wounds of a divorce as well as plan for your new life.