Divorce – When Your Best Friend Won't Move On

By: Gary Kelly
Submitted: 2007-01-17 16:23:54
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Seeing one of your best friends going through a divorce can be very difficult. If you have a very good friend who is in the middle of a divorce, you should be prepared to offer patience and support. Most times, your friends will need someone to talk with and let others know how they are feeling.

There will be conversations with your friend when you will silently wonder if they will ever move on. Questions about why the conversation always somehow seems to gravitate back towards the divorce will fill your head. Eventually you may even stop calling the friend or significantly cutting back on the amount of time you spend with them. You may become impatient and find conversations with the divorced friend to be a real downer. You may secretly dread the fact you “have” to call them to see how they are doing.

What happens when the conversation goes beyond that? What happens when your friend just does not what to seem to let go? What happens when each conversation with the friend involves bitterness and resentment?

The short answer is there is no answer.

If you have a friend who does not seem to want to move on with their lives after a divorce, you need to approach this situation very carefully. Say the right thing in the wrong way and there could be trouble. Say the wrong thing the right way and there could be even more trouble.

If your friend has a difficult time moving on, you need to carefully mention to them that you cannot understand what they are going through. You have to empathize that you cannot possibly imagine the pain and suffering.

You also have to carefully remind your friend that life does go on. It might not seem like it at the time but life does in fact go on. You need to remind them of all the positive things they have in their lives. If your friend begins to do fun things and focus on the positive things in their lives, eventually one positive thought will follow with another positive thought. Eventually, this upward spiral will eventually replace the feelings of hopelessness and despair.

If your friend refuses to move on after an extender period of time then you may want to reconsider your relationship with them. You may have to come to the realization that there is nothing you can do to help them. Regardless of how much help and support is offered to a friend going through a divorce, nothing will help them if the choose not to help themselves.

If you stop communicating with your friend because it has become unbearable to talk with them you may find one day where the friend calls you back. Perhaps things are starting to look up in their world. Just because you had cut back on the amount of time you spent talking with them in the past, does not mean to have to restrict that time in the future.

Remember we all have choices in life. We may not like the options in front of us but we always have choices. The trick is trying to communicate that message to your friend without appearing to meddle in their lives.

Gary Kelly is co-creator of the online dating website for golfers, DateAGolfer.com and PuttingForPar.com, a golf website specializing in personalized ball markers

Article source: Expert Articles

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