Does Your Life Seem Out of Control? Are You Stuck in Dealing with Divorce?

By: Amy Barnes
Submitted: 2007-01-17 16:25:10
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You either keep constantly busy or you do nothing or find yourself fluctuating between these two extremes. Life holds little meaning and there may seem no way out. If you have felt this way before and do so no longer: Congratulations! If you have never felt like this before I hope you never will. Perhaps you have a friend who feels like this. For those of you who feel stuck in this place, I wish to offer hope that life does not have to continue to feel like this.

Have you recently experienced the break up of a marriage or a serious relationship, the death of a loved one, or loss of a job? Each can leave you feeling out of control and not in charge of your life. You may feel numb, or angry or sad or scared or even relieved; or a combination of all these feelings at the same time. You may not feel valued, heard or respected. How do you treat yourself? You are worthy of respect, of being heard, of being valued and yes, of being loved. You may have had a recent situation that has temporarily left you feeling discouraged or you may feel deep down that you are not worthy of love or respect by others or by yourself. As a therapist I often see individuals who don’t feel good about themselves. My job as a therapist is to create a safe place for these individuals to be heard and to feel valued and respected. I enjoy helping people feel empowered and in control of their lives.

Letting go and moving on is rough but quite possible. Allowing yourself to feel and deal with those unpleasant feelings is a necessary part of healing. Perhaps the hardest part of healing is to treat yourself as you wish others to treat you – to love yourself. Would you treat yourself differently if you really cared about and loved yourself? Would you take better care of your body, your mind, and your spiritual life? Each day allow yourself to play, to laugh and to be with friends. Each day becomes a balance of both taking care of yourself and being there for others. Have you ever tried to pour lemonade out of an empty pitcher? Just like the empty pitcher, if you do not fill yourself by taking care of you; you have nothing to give others.

You don’t need to stay stuck in this place. Talk with friends, join a divorce recovery or grief group if appropriate, or talk with a therapist. Get some help. You are worth it! You are worthy of being loved, of having a wonderful life. Life can be better.

Copyright 2006

Barnes’ diverse background includes a seminary degree in Marriage and Family Therapy and Pastoral Counseling and a license as a Mental Health Counselor providing a foundation for her extensive experience and training in marriage counseling.

Barnes has taught divorce recovery programs for six years and has written numerous articles on relationships and divorce as well as given a variety of talks and led workshops on divorce and relationships.

With a focus is on relationships, both personal and professional, Ms. Barnes is considered a gentle, compassionate listener who assists individuals, couples and families in finding practical solutions. She helps people develop their own strengths and find greater possibilities and options for their lives. For more information go to: http://www.lifeoptions.us

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