Happy Ever After

By: Vlady Peters
Submitted: 2007-01-17 16:25:29
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It used to, ‘They married and lived happily ever after’. Now, what with his, hers, and their children, the wedding day itself is a challenge. His children don’t like her. Her children don’t like his children. And their children don’t know why the other children don’t go home where they belong instead of hanging around.

Convincing everyone involved that marriage is going to be the happiest time of all their lives is hard enough. Having the wedding ceremony without some explosive incident is a miracle. But no sooner does the couple sigh with relief, that the wedding went off better than expected, then comes the problem of the honeymoon.

Should the honeymoon be postponed for some weeks, or months, or even years until the various members of the family have accepted each other as a family? Or should the couple actually take the children with them for a family holiday? Even if money is no object, will anyone, including the children enjoy this togetherness?

Even if the couple decide not to take their children with them – which most won’t - if the children are at all interested, give them the opportunity to plan the honeymoon with you. That is tell them why you’ve chosen the particular place. What is so special about it? Do a little bit of research on it so that if it has as any history worth recounting, you’ll be able to share it with them. Know enough about the children’s interest to give them the details they crave rather than the details that interest you.

Although there is a desire, especially of the couple inundated with problems other than the theme for their wedding, to leave for their honeymoon just as fast as they can, resist this urge. While the urge, especially with an embattled couple is natural, give yourself a day or two to recoup, relax with all your children into a more comfortable mode, and then leave. It won’t seem to your children the flight that it is if you don’t make such an urgent mission of it.

Incidentally, while on your honeymoon, don’t avoid the subject of the children you’ve left behind. Without being anxious or morbid, of course.

If money is no object, one of the best ways of starting your life together as a new family, is to buy a new house before you leave for the honeymoon. Apart from the anticipation of moving house when you come back from the honeymoon, all your children can take an equal interest in it because it belongs to all of them rather than only some of them.

Vlady Peters is an Australian Civil Marriage Celebrant authorized to perform marriage in Australia. She also performs general ceremonies such as Baby Naming, Renewal of Vows and Commitment Ceremonies. To learn more about Vlady, visit her at http://www.weddings-celebrant.com

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