A New Attitude

By: Karen Deuschle
Submitted: 2007-01-17 16:22:33
Print this article | Tell a friend | For publisher | Social Bookmarking
Rating:
 

Are you ready to play a little word association game with me? OK, here it is: What comes to your mind when you hear the word “hospitality”? Maybe you think about the friends you’ll invite Friday night for a glass of wine and a game of cards. Or perhaps you sense a bit of panic as you think about the pile of mail on your desk, or the dust on your TV, or the crumbs under the kitchen table, or the unpainted wall of your dining room. I would bet that most women, especially those of us with children, fall into the second group. I know that I did until I learned what true hospitality is.

For as long as I can remember I have loved getting together with friends, especially if they come to my home. In my twenties I would have elaborate dinner parties for eight, complete with china, silver, and linen, and of course gourmet dishes that I would cook myself. On top of those details, I would add the stress of presenting an immaculate apartment or house, as if that was a normal state of affairs for us! Ha! What a joke!

When two, and then three kids came along, I relaxed my standards a bit (by allowing the kids to use unbreakable dishes), but would still go a bit crazy stemming from the expectations I set for my home and myself. Around that time I belonged to a women’s small group that I loved, in part because it was made up of Christian women in all different stages of life. We learned so much from each other because of our differences, and were able to support each other because of our similarities.

One week the subject of hospitality came up, and I thought, “Great, I can share my recipe for homemade glass cleaner that makes those mirrors sparkle!” But our discussion that day is what changed my attitude. What we talked about was true hospitality and the fact that it has very little to do with the hostess, the location, or the food. That’s right. Hospitality is about how comfortable a guest feels in your home and not about the hostess at all! Wow! What a lightening bolt moment for me!

Here are some definitions for hospitality: cordial and generous reception of or disposition toward guests; an instance of cordial and generous treatment of guests; kindness in welcoming guests or strangers. Do you notice the theme there? You’ve got it- every phrase mentions guests, and not one mentions host or hostess- very interesting!

So how do you measure up? Not your house, you as a hostess. Do you immediately apologize for dust when someone stops by? Do you step outside to greet them so they don’t see the socks on the floor? Or maybe you put the kettle on, push the mail to the side of the table and tell your friend how happy you are to see them. I commend you if that last sentence describes you; I am almost there too!

I have to be honest here and tell you that I did not change my ways overnight, but I have been relaxing my standards. Basic dusting and vacuuming are still necessities when invited guests are coming but my question to myself has become “is it good enough?” instead of “is it perfect?” My focus has turned more towards how comfortable and happy my friends are and less about whether the dust on the light fixtures is noticeable.

I am also happy to report that when a friend stops by unexpectedly, I no longer apologize for whatever mess happens to be present at the time. My first words are always of welcome and pleasure at seeing them no matter what my house looks like; after all they probably came to visit with me, not my house!

To figure out if the change in my attitude has affected my guests, I think the only way to know is by what they say. It used to be that when people were leaving they would thank me and make a comment about the wonderful food or beautiful decorating, but now the comments I hear most are about how inviting my home feels and how relaxed and comfortable our time together was. Now that is definite progress and I have to admit it is very gratifying as well!

So the next time you are having expected (or unexpected) guests to your home, remember that hospitality is not about you or your house at all- it’s about how welcome your friends feel and the memories you are creating together.

Karen Deuschle is a work from home mother of three and an avid reader who lives in the Pittsburgh area. She loves to garden, spend time with friends, and host tea parties. After twenty years in the nursing industry, she left to start her own business and she is having a wonderful time! To learn more about her and how she welcomes guests, please visit her website at http://www.scentsablelight.com.

Article source: Expert Articles

Most Recent Articles in Home & Family category

  • Too Many Bean Bags So Little Time - Basic Types Of Bean Bags On The Market Today - By: Annie Deakin
    Everyone loves a good bean bag, and chances are you loved them as a kid and you love them now. There is just something about bean bags that are downright fun, free, and silly in a way. Over the decades since they came out, bean bags have gone through some changes to the point that there are so many different types out there - it can be hard to choose one. So, to help you find the perfect bean bags for your needs, here are some of the most popular styles out:
  • Some Information On The Kinds Of Cushions On The Market - By: Annie Deakin
    If you are looking at changing the look of a room, have you considered purchasing new cushions? Much less expensive than a new couch or carpet, cushions can update a room, help you express your taste and style, and make furniture much more comfortable.
  • Bean Bags As Furniture Works - By: Annie Deakin
    Bean bags as furniture works very well even with today's modern style houses. Actually, there stylish looks enhance any type room. They had their big surge of popularity in the 1960's, and were considered back then to be 'hippie furniture'. But they never really lost their appeal. They weren't invented by the hippies, however, it was the Italians who brought them to us, and they called them 'Saccos'.
  • Points To Consider When Buying Crockery - By: Annie Deakin
    Crockery market is a perplexing field where sometimes, you may go away from the truth and get the false product with high price. In fact, buying anything requires some good judgments to consider carefully if you want to be successful. Attractive design of crockery may often misguide you to detect whether you are buying porcelain or other ceramic products. All you need to know is the correct information. This article will cover the ideas behind buying crockery in a profitable way.
  • Tips On Selecting Various Types Of Crockery - By: Annie Deakin
    People are in the habit of using crockery from the very beginning of civilization, and there exists a very few people who don't know or want to know of the using of these very usable utensils often found easily around the locality. These are essential things for daily life and they also can give a lot more in the sense of household beauty. However, knowledge of the types of crockery can give you the proper wisdom you need to get a better and nice environment at your dinning or it can give you a sense of table or dishware if you are planning to add some for you.
  • Tips to Move without the Expense - By: John Pauls
    We all know that moving can be expensive but there are ways that you can cut the cost when you buy a new home. This article will give you some tips.
  • Avoid becoming overwhelmed with Unpacking in your New Home - By: John Pauls
    To avoid becoming overwhelmed with unpacking in your new home, this article will teach you the right solutions. It may help the people who just moving to a new house.
  • How to Move a Modular Home to a New Location - By: John Pauls
    Many people love modular home, that's one of the reasons people want to take it when they need to move. This article will provide some important thing you need to know before you move.
  • Reduce the Hot Water Consumption and Slash Your Energy Bills - By: Cristian Stan
    Sometimes it is difficult to imagine that even the smallest changes in your home and behavior can have a great impact on your bills. Let's take this small example into consideration: sometimes, when you are washing the dishes you turn to do something else and the water is still running. The kitchen sink is where you should try to focus your attention.
  • How Does a Wind Turbine Work? - By: Cristian Stan
    There are two main points to consider when understanding how a wind turbine works: Harnessing the wind and Converting wind into electrical energy.