How to Tackle the Honey-Do List Instead of Each Other

By: Catherine Ipcizade
Submitted: 2007-01-17 16:23:22
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Does this sound familiar? The sun is shining as morning welcomes a new day. You get up, get dressed and start to work on the seemingly endless “chores” you’ve been putting off. You feel good because you and your spouse decided together that this would be the weekend to tackle everything from the broken washer to the overgrown hydrangeas. But then you look over and see your husband, who was supposed to be washing the car, sprawled in front of the television with a bag of chips– or worse, you find him snoring peacefully in his recliner. What do you do?

Okay - maybe your husband doesn’t even own a recliner. Maybe he does help when you ask him, sometimes. But maybe, just maybe, you’d like him to do more. Perhaps you’ve even created the dreaded ‘honey-do’ list more times than you can count and waited as nothing got crossed off. If so, you’ll want to keep reading.

You might be surprised to know that men are helping around the house more than ever. They now share tasks that women once completed alone. Perhaps it is the influx of women in the workplace that has brought about this change. Perhaps it’s just good common sense.

In a recent survey, couples were asked various questions regarding their involvement in household chores. Nearly 90% of women felt that their mates helped them around the house. All of the women stated that they appreciated the help they received, though all but ten percent would like to see their husbands help out more. In contrast, 75% of the men interviewed felt that they were responsible for half of the household chores. Most stated that they didn’t resist helping out, but wanted to feel more appreciated for the help they offered.

In the same survey, men were asked which chore they liked the most and which they disliked. Answers were all over the board. Those with pets disliked picking up after the pet. Some disliked laundry, while others stated laundry was their favorite chore. For men who have yards, yard work was by far the number one chore they preferred. So why then is it often such a struggle to get things done? Here are some suggestions to get the ‘honey-do’ list completed before a household war erupts:

*Ask nicely. You may think you’re already doing this but more often than naught, the men I interviewed thought their wives could approach them more openly rather than demanding their help. I know, I know, this is difficult, especially if you feel like you’ve already asked a zillion times! But give it a try - it might pay off.

*Show appreciation and be satisfied with the job done. This goes both ways. Men need to appreciate the work their wives do on a daily basis. When they do, women can more easily appreciate the work their husbands do as well. No, your husband isn’t going to fold the towels the same way you do, and he may indeed use the window cleaner on the counters, but realize that things don’t always have to be done your way. Look at it this way; if he does it, you don’t have to!

*Communicate with one another. If you remember nothing else from this article, remember this. Effective communication is the answer here. The truth is, you both want a home that is livable and enjoyable. But you don’t want chores to be the straw that breaks the camels back in your marriage. If he’d rather give the kids a bath than clean up dinner, let him. If you’d rather pick the weeds than do the laundry, tell him. Compromise.

The key is talking about what is important to both of you and finding a way to meet both of your needs. An approach that works for one person may not work for another. Be specific about your needs, consider dividing the chores in a way that makes both of you happy and stick to it! When you work together, you give yourselves more time to play together, and we could all use more of that! And men, remember, as Dr. Phil McGraw says, “When Mama aint happy, aint nobody happy.” So stop using the ‘honey-do’ list as a coaster and consider tackling it – I have a sneaking suspicion you’ll be glad you did.

Article source: Expert Articles