Quality Time - How to Neglect Your Child and Get Away with It

By: Jack Wilson
Submitted: 2007-01-17 16:21:53
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One of the most widespread terms in recent history is “Quality Time”. The speaker of this phrase is indicating that he plans to cram meaningful and memorable activities into the short period of time he is willing to allot to his child, spouse, parent, relative, friend or associate. Since he is unwilling to provide quantity, he will substitute intensity.

Sample email from father to son:

“Hi there little feller. I have set aside 2 hours on Tuesday the 14th for visiting with you. I’ll pick you up at 10:00 a.m. on the dot. My executive assistant will meet with you 15 minutes earlier to see that you have packed all the necessities and used the bathroom, eaten whatever you must, etc.

This will be quality time, son. So everything we do in the two hours will be extreme. See the attached agenda my secretary has prepared and be sure you have all the equipment and supplies ready to go. I’ll see you then,

Your really, really sincere father. (You can call me Dad)”

Time itself is quality time. Just being together, side by side, doing nothing, not talking is as rewarding as riding the Big Flop at a theme park or any other exciting activity. Unrushed, unplanned time, just together. It is the ‘together’ that counts.

Another set of remarks that suggest the opposite of what they say are; “to tell you the truth“, “I’ll be perfectly honest with you“, and “let me be frank”. The only reason I can think of for anyone to say those phrases is that they usually lie and now are going to be honest, or they are getting ready to lie through their teeth.

I understand the voices that say “hey, quality time is not the worst euphemism of the century. How about ‘we’re all going to go to the showers now’? Okay, okay, it may not qualify as the worst, but it legitimizes neglect and is immensely reprehensible and should by eliminated from everyone’s vocabulary.

Jack Wilson is a writer and artist in Tempe, Arizona

http://www.geocities.com/galimatio/jackwilson.html

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