George Horton Bush Hears a Who

By: David Cox
Submitted: 2007-01-17 16:25:26
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George Horton Bush was out in the rose garden one lovely fall day, he was picking flowers with his trunk and was admiring their beauty when he heard a strange cluck cluck. Hello? He asked, who was that? Then he heard the sound again, he focused his massive republican elephant ears at the bunch of flowers and listened with all his might again. Ah Ha! This time he could see were the noise came from, on the end of one of the flowers a tiny little voice cried out, “Our troops are stuck in Iraq!” Who said that! Who are you! George Horton demanded.

“Me”, the tiny little voice answered meekly, Yes You! “I’m John Kerry who that’s who” Why is it I can hear you? This is all new George Horton asked. “That is a very good question little John Kerry who swore you never have heard me before! Maybe election seasons improve your hearing?” How can you say that Horton thundered I’m the top elephant round this store! And how dare you say those troops are stuck in Iraq what do you know about war! You hear this little John Kerry Who, my party and I we love those wonderful youths! There not stuck in Iraq, they’re proudly fighting for their country! How dare you slur them I speak only truth!

“I’m not a doctor Horton, but it appears your deafness comes and goes little John Kerry who supposed. You see their country is over here and they are stuck over there, Colin Powell who warned you, but you said oh poo poo I do not hear you, I know what to do so serve me or leave me because I do not listen have to the likes of you! The who’s in Pentagonville warned you, no, no, no do not do this thing that you want to try it will not go well it will not fly. But you didn’t hear them not with Rummy sweet song with kind greetings they will greet us Saddam will be gone. The bad will be gone and goodness will reign, Rummy’s a genius Saddam is insane the job will pay for its self and they will all praise my name!”

“We will bomb and bomb and the bad men will fall and the good will all love us from the the rubble of shock and awe. Those fighting us are dead enders deadeye Dick purred and that’s all you needed heard, as Rummy nodded in agreement and you just demurred.” So, so, so you little who who! Horton cried we got the intelligence wrong! Kerry who said “maybe you wouldn’t have got it all wrong if you had listened to someone besides Rummy’s sirens song. They sang it loud and you yelled louder I can still hear the truth you’ve got to sing louder! For you knew what was in store that you wanted this war and the death of troops didn’t matter any more.”

“And what could be neater than air guitar theater as Katrina’s water gushed over the wall But you were just clowning as the children were drowning until you got Exxon’s call.” Now listen here who! What could I do? I did not hear that they were drowning when I did what I did I sent my best man Brownie! I’m a Republican you see and what we believe is everyone should do for himself and if the children are drowning they should swim or such stuff or they’ll will get quiet soon enough. You see God has his plan and I am the man on which he chooses to reveal it so when people die or some people cry it is his fault not I!

But Horton, little John Kerry who cried “couldn’t you at least have listened to hear them couldn’t you a least have tried? When little Cindy Loo who tried and tried to make you listen by waiting out side. But your limo’s whizzed by her in a dust cloud as you decreed I’m the decider and I decide if I must!” I don’t do sad stories little John Kerry you who! I’m the decider I do only what I want to do and besides they volunteered so let me make this clear it’s not my fault they do without the right gear. Cause Rummy says that’s the way that it is that’s all I need to hear! Our men are strong patriots brave and free they will do without and die without, without blaming me!

Little John Kerry who stood at the very tip of the capital of Whoville and said “Horton now you listen this time I want you to hear! When the Democrats wanted to raise the death benefit for the families of the soldiers that fall the Republicans answered No, no that won’t work at all! When the Democrats called for better helmet liners to protect your beloved soldiers. The Republicans cried it won’t work lets not try, oh but by the way what about Terry Shievo. The Democrats wanted expand Tri care health care for the families of the military that the Republicans love. They said there’s no need of that, now getting defensive they’ll get by just fine and besides it’s too expensive.

“Too expensive! I find that offensive to the troops that are fighting and dying. Bring em on your calling cause it ain’t yours that are falling we can’t cut and run you cry. Admit it Horton! This isn’t a raging success this is a disaster, this is a bloody mess!” No it’s not! you’re lying we're doing just fine, you got to believe why would I lie? Rummy he told me so it is so! To him I will listen cause he’s the smartest I know! That settles it Kerry who said I’ve reached my diagnosis the problems not in your hearing the problems in your head. The problem it seems is in your vocation and just as assuredly is in your location. Perhaps what you need is another long vacation. For Washington is evil and vile you need someplace quiet where you can hear the people perhaps a boat trip down your river of denial!

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