Martial Arts and Self-Defense Wisdom: Stretch Before A Fight, Not During A Fight

By: Shawn Kovacich
Submitted: 2007-01-17 16:26:24
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One of the funniest, yet not-so-bright, things that I have ever heard of someone doing during a fight was actually done by one of my former students. Even though the incident that I am about to relate to you happened several years ago, it still makes me laugh every time I think about it. Even now as I type this article, I have a smile on my face and a chuckle in my belly.

I was first made aware of this particular incident on a Monday night as my intermediate adult class was arriving for their first class after the weekend. Larry (the name has been changed to protect the guilty) along with his friend and fellow classmate Joe, had just arrived at the dojo and went immediately to the change room in order to change and get ready for class. As they walked to the change room, I noticed that Larry seemed to be in an awfully big hurry and was actually looking away from me, while keeping his head down so that I couldn’t see his face. Although I thought this behavior was a bit peculiar, I really didn’t give it much thought at the time.

I spent the next 15 minutes or so with my beginning adult class as I finished teaching them their particular lesson for the day. After dismissing them for the evening, I had one of my senior students begin warming-up the next class. Which just so happened to be the one that Larry and Joe were in. The stretching period lasted about 20 minutes and as soon as it was completed, I took over the class.

Now have you ever been in a situation where you see something and then immediately do a double take because you can’t believe what you have just seen? Well, that very thing happened to me. As I called the class to attention, I looked at Larry and saw what had to be the biggest black eye I had ever seen. Now I must admit that I was rather awe struck at the time and just stared at Larry for several seconds. Finally, it occurred to me what I was seeing so I asked him what had happened. Larry’s only response to my question was to put his head down and look at the ground. While this is going on, I hear a couple of snickers coming from the back row of students. Since I was unable to determine who was laughing, I asked the entire class what was so funny. Joe, who ended up being the one laughing, informed me that I should ask Larry and then started outright laughing.

Well, I must admit that by this time my curiosity was sorely peaked. Therefore, I had one of my senior black belts take over the class while Larry and I went to my office. Once inside the office, Larry told me how he had acquired his black eye. Now I am generally not one to laugh at someone else’s misfortune and pride myself on being a fairly understanding and somewhat compassionate person. This however, was not one of those times. As a matter of fact, I was laughing so hard that I actually had tears running down my cheeks.

Now before I get into the actual events behind Larry’s black eye, you may want to stop reading this for a moment and go get a box of tissue paper. Because if you have any sense of humor at all, you are going to be laughing pretty hard in the next few moments as you continue to read this story.

Okay, now that you are back with the tissues, let’s get started.

Apparently the whole incident started the previous Saturday evening when Joe and Larry went to a local watering hole to have a few drinks with their wives. The evening started smoothly with no problems, that is until the local tough guys showed up with more liquor in their bodies, than brains in their head. As it turned out, the same could and would also be said of Larry.

The basic premise of the fight was that supposedly one of the local tough guys had made some kind of inappropriate comment towards Larry’s wife. Larry responded verbally and the tough guy challenged Larry to a fight. Larry agreed and he and Joe went outside with the loud mouth instigator and a couple of his friends.

Once out in the parking lot, Larry and his antagonist started to square off when Larry held up his hands and told the guy to wait a minute that he had to stretch first. When speaking with Joe later that night, he told me that he just stood there dumbfounded as Larry proceeded to sit down in the parking lot and stretch his legs. Now according to Joe, everyone stood there for almost a minute in shear disbelief that this was actually happening. Of course the first person to snap out of it was Larry’s opponent. Joe said that it seemed like he was watching it in slow motion when the guy take a couple of steps towards Larry as he drew back his right leg and proceeded to kick Larry right in the face with what would best be described as a punters kick.

Fortunately for Larry, he seen the kick at the last moment and was able to turn his head enough that the kick didn’t land flush against his face and ended up glancing off of his cheek bone after initially making impact. Larry then proceeded to get up off of the ground and put a major hurting on his opponent. Even though his face and eye hurt considerably, Larry told me that his self-esteem was hurt far worse for pulling such a foolish stunt. I told Larry that although it was a foolish thing to do, at least he had not gotten seriously hurt and that hopefully he learned a valuable lesson from this incident.

After several minutes of me trying to regain my composure, Larry and I began to pick apart the entire incident to try and discern all the various mistakes that were made and how he could avoid them in the future. The following mistakes are those that Larry and I both felt were made before and during this particular altercation.

1. Going to that particular bar, which was known as a roughneck bar, and where there was always trouble of some sort happening.
2. Drinking excessively in the first place. Whether in that bar or any other.
3. Allowing a verbal altercation to elevate into an actual fight.
4. Telling his opponent to hold on a minute, and then actually sitting down on the ground and stretching his legs.

When I asked Larry what had possessed him to sit down and stretch his legs, he told me that he wanted to be warmed-up and stretched out before getting into the actual fight. I informed Larry that the “actual fight” started long before he went outside and that he was never going to get into a real fight when he was at his best. It always seems that every fight happens when you are either drinking (the vast majority of the time), tired, or distracted by something or someone else. Therefore, he needed to learn how best to avoid a possible confrontation, and when not able to avoid it, how to best use the actual situation and his surroundings to his advantage, not his opponents. And finally, never stop what you are doing in order to, nor expect your opponent to give you the opportunity to, sit down and stretch.

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