Self-Defense Fighting Techniques: Sucker Punches, Off-Setting and Roundhouse Kicks

By: Shawn Kovacich
Submitted: 2007-01-17 16:26:24
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One of the more classic “sucker punch” scenarios that you are likely to encounter is the one which starts out with you being tapped on the shoulder. This is almost always initiated from behind and begins with your unknown opponent tapping you generally, but not always, on your right shoulder with his left hand while you are facing away from him. If you are not paying attention, you will almost always turn around and step towards your opponent in the general direction that you were tapped. So if you were tapped on your right shoulder, you would turn around to your right towards your opponent and right into his overhand punch. For your opponent, this has the dual effect of surprise and you moving towards the punch, which as we all know increases the amount of force that you are struck with, and usually results in a knockout and/or broken bones.

Now I am going to relate to you an incident that occurred to me in which this very same technique was actually used on me, and what I did in order to counter it. Although I must admit that this entire incident could have been avoided had I truly wanted to, but at this particular time I didn’t. Although I didn’t openly provoke the confrontation, I did absolutely nothing to avoid it. I will even go so far as to say that I probably encouraged my opponents’ aggressive behavior to a certain degree on a subconscious level. You know the “Alpha Male” mentality that is so prevalent with males especially during our younger years. Most of us seem to grow out of it to a certain extent, while others maintain the same level and in some cases even become worse as they get older.

My friend Jerry and I used to work as bouncers on the weekends and at special events at a country western bar called the Saddle Club. Although we never drank when we were working, we would sometimes go there to drink during the week when it was slower and usually not that many people there. We also got 2 for 1 beer when we went so I am sure that also had some small bearing on our decision to drink there on our nights off.

Anyhow, on this particular night, there were quite a few more people in the bar than normal for a weekday night. Jerry and I walked up and took our usual places at the bar and started to have a couple of beers. Now if you have ever worked as a bouncer, you know that it is a pretty good way to pick up girls. Now I am not talking about the ones that you would take home to meet your mother, but more like the ones you wouldn’t want your mother to find out you even talked to, let alone took home. As it so happened, two such girls were sitting at a table a short distance from us and they were sitting there all alone. Well sort of.

Although these two girls were sitting at a table by themselves, there were these two guys sitting at the table right next to them and they were trying their damndest to get these two girls to pay attention to them. As we sat there for oh about 30 minutes or so, we watched these two guys buy the girls several drinks all the while the girls were looking at Jerry and I and trying to ignore the two guys sitting next to them. Finally, after about another 15 minutes or so had passed by, the two guys finally got tired of trying to pick up the girls and came over and sat at the bar next to Jerry and I. Now I am not generally one to rub salt in an open wound, but on occasion I have been known to do some rather retarded things, especially when I have been drinking.

I waited until the two guys in question went to the bathroom and I leaned over to Jerry and told him that we should go over and see if we would have any better luck picking up those two girls than these other guys did. Jerry didn’t even say a word. He merely got up off the bar stool and walked over and sat down with the two girls. Jerry started talking up a storm and before I knew it he and the two girls were waiving me over to the table. Now this all took place within a couple of minutes as the two guys that had struck out were still in the bathroom. No sooner had I left the bar and sat down at the table, than out comes the two guys from the bathroom. Needless to say, they were pissed off.

So while Jerry continued to “sweet talk” the girls into leaving the bar with us, I kept my eye on the two guys now sitting at the bar. Jerry and the girls continued to drink for about another hour or so while I continued to sip on my one beer. I could tell by the reaction that these two guys had at seeing us with the girls and the constant eye-balling that they were giving us that there was going to be trouble sooner or later. Finally, after what seemed like hours, the girls asked us if we wanted to leave and go back to one of their houses. Jerry and I pondered this for all of about I would say a thousand of a second before we agreed that it sounded like a great idea and started getting up in order to leave.

While Jerry and I helped the girls on with their jackets, I noticed that one of the two guys at the bar was paying their tab, while the other one was wiping his hands off on his jeans. One of those little things that are a dead give away that someone is getting ready to cause you some grief. Now Jerry, who normally was right on top of things, was a little bit distracted with the female festivities that we were sure to be involved in later that night and was not really paying any attention to what was going on. I let Jerry and the two girls walk ahead of me while I kind of nonchalantly lingered behind just a bit.

Sure enough, as soon as Jerry and the girls start walking towards the door the two guys get off their barstools and start walking towards us. Now I could see the reflection of these two guys in the glass of the front doors as they approached me from behind. Suddenly, I felt my right shoulder being tapped. However, instead of turning around into the punch, I step forward with my right foot and to my left across my body before turning. This had the effect of putting me about two feet farther away from these two guys, and about the same distance to their left. So rather than being right in front of them, I am now at a 45-degree angle to the left of the guy who tapped my shoulder.

As I executed this move and turned around, this is what I saw. The first guy who had tapped me on the shoulder was now between me and the second guy due to my “off-setting” move that I had made prior to turning around. Therefore, he was not an immediate threat. However, the guy who had tapped me on the shoulder was the primary threat. He had this surprised look on his face as he realized that my head and body weren’t where they were supposed to be. At the same time, his right arm was cocked back and had started to swing toward me but had stopped about midway through the punch when he realized my head wasn’t where it should have been. His left hand was hanging down around his waist and was not up to protect his head.

As I was taking all of this in, I had already initiated my counterattack, which in this case was a roundhouse kick to the side of his head. Now I have to reiterate a very important point, “You should never initiate an attack or counterattack with a high section kick. Unless you have an extraordinary ability to kick, and if all of the other extenuating circumstances present are in your favor.”

The kick landed perfectly on his jaw and literally dropped him like a 50 lbs. sack of potatoes. His friend immediately threw up his hands and started backing up while yelling that it was his friend’s idea and that he didn’t want to fight. I am sure seeing his friend lying on the floor unconscious had something to do with that decision. At about this point Jerry, who had been outside with the girls and oblivious to what was going on, walked back inside to find me and saw me standing over the one guy and his friend backing up. Jerry being the great and loyal friend that he was ran up between me and the other guy ready to take him on if he decided to get even more stupid than he had already. I told the guy to wait until after we left, and then to get his friend and to get out of the bar and to never come back. Meanwhile, Jerry got into his car with one of the girls and I got into the other girls car with her. We then left the bar.

Now there are several things that can be learned from this situation.

1. Most all fights happen when you are drinking and/or in a bar or nightclub.
2. Alcohol and men are fine, alcohol and women are fine, but mix all three together and sooner or later there is going to be a problem.
3. Male egos bruise easily, and rubbing salt on them only makes them worse.
4. Fighting over a bar whore is downright stupid.
5. If you see that a potential altercation is going to take place, stop drinking.
6. Whenever possible, create distance between you and your opponent.
7. Never get distracted by a pretty face, especially when you know there good be trouble, or you’re in a place where trouble is lying in wait.

I later found out that I had broke the guys jaw with my roundhouse kick and that he didn’t even know what had hit him. As for the rest of mine and Jerry’s evening, you will have to read a Penthouse Forums letter to get the details on that.

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