Save Our Children: When Is a Mother Dangerous to her Child or Others?

By: Kathryn Seifert
Submitted: 2007-01-17 16:26:57
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The Growing Problem of violent women:

• Lisa Montgomery took the baby from the womb of another young mother in 2004.

• Lashaun Harris killed her three children by tossing them into the bay on October 19, 2005.

• Shannon Torrez, 36, cut a young mother’s throat and kidnapped her new born baby on September 15, 2006.

• Tiffany Hall is suspected of killing a pregnant mother and her baby by cutting open her womb and taking the, as yet, unborn child on September 15, 2006. She may have also killed the other three children of the mother she killed.

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What would drive women to this point? What can make them so desperate that they see no other way to solve their problems or get their needs met? Is a failure of logic? Of empathy? Of compassion? Ethics? Failure to see things from another person’s point of view? A failure of what we have come to believe is womanhood?

What could have happened to make women not possess the characteristics that make us human? The development of the ability to see things from another person’s point of view, soothe oneself, solve problems, have appropriate interpersonal skills (reciprocity and empathy), and care for another person come early in the sequence of human development. If during those critical times, something internal or in the environment interferes with normal development of these skills and characteristics, and corrective developmental experiences are not provided, a young person or adult may remain at an earlier stage of development and their ability to interact with the world may be deviant to a greater or lesser degree.

What are the conditions that interfere with the development of skills and our ability to relate to others? Brain damage or neurological impairment can be associated with the inability to relate to other people appropriately. This can come from genetics, illness, injury, and pathological caregiving in infancy. Child abuse, neglect, exposure to violence, and loss of a parent without adequate substitute caregivers can interfere with normal development. Pathological child care due to untreated or inadequately treated mental illness and/or substance abuse of the parents can interfere with the child’s development. This may leave young people in an earlier stage of personal, interpersonal, reasoning, and moral development than would be expected by their age.

If a two or three year old punches another child to get his toy, it is not entirely unexpected. However, when a 23 year old strikes another mother to get what she wants, it is less expected and understood. The 23 year old is expected to be at a more mature level of development. A three year old is not likely to kill another child intentionally. When a woman kills another person, it goes beyond all comprehension. Instrumental killing (for a purpose) of another person that is not a part of a legal duty or self defense requires that you have little or no caring or empathy for other people. This requires a lack of attachment to other humans.

What is Attachment? Attachment is the deep emotional and physical bond between humans. The basis for it begins in infancy between mother and child. Anything that disrupts that bonding process (abuse, neglect, violence, abandonment, mental illness or substance abuse of the mother that is untreated) can result in disrupted attachment patterns of the child’s development. This results in disregarding the rights and feelings of others. On the other hand, activities and events that support healthy attachment and interpersonal bonding will sustain the ability to recognize and respect the rights, needs and feelings of others.

What needs to be done? Our social service, mental health, juvenile justice, education, legal, early childhood, and faith based services must coordinate and extend appropriate services to all youth at risk. A child that is not well cared for is a child at risk to not be kind to others and worse. The symptoms of disrupted attachment can be seen very early and should be addressed as soon as possible. Corrective developmental experiences, skill building, mental health, and positive bonding experiences are needed. Child well being is directly linked to the amount of money a jurisdiction spends on child and family services. We must make a commitment to the welfare of the children and families of the world, financially, programatically and as an ideal. If we don’t, the US will continue to have one of the highest violence rates in the world. We know the questions. We know the answers, but we cannot seem to fully commit to carry them out. It is not just more money that is needed, there are paradigm shifts and adjustments of priorities also need to be made. These are probably harder to achieve than more money. Therefore we will continue to see these awful reports on the news.

Dr. Kathryn Seifert is a psychotherapist with over 30 years experience in mental health, addictions, and criminal justice work. Dr. Seifert has authored the CARE and numerous articles. She speaks nationally on mental health related topics and youth violence. She is an expert witness in the areas of youth and adult violence and sexual offending. Her latest book is coming soon: How Children Become Violent. For more information go to http://www.drkathyseifert.com

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