Gaining More Personal Fulfillment with Personal Coaching - FamilyVision Column

By: Daryl Green
Submitted: 2007-01-17 16:39:47
Print this article | Tell a friend | For publisher | Social Bookmarking
Rating:
 

No one cares. You feel you don’t get any support---not from your significant other, not from your family, friends, and certainly not from your children. You want so badly to soar like the eagles…yet your daily routine leaves you feeling like a child. No one understands your need to have an identity of your own. Your friends laugh at your goals. Your spouse can’t understand why you want more out of life. You are depressed with your life. Where can you find peace? Where do you find an advocate who will cheer for you when things are looking grim?

Too Many Problems

Life is full of day-to-day problems. If you get too absorbed in them, you miss the greatness within you. A personal advisor can do wonders! Many people do not want to ask for help, especially men. Is it a sign of weakness – of course not. After all this is the Information Age! Where others reject help because of what people might say ( through their social masks).

You want people to see the real you rather than false images---living in a house you can’t afford, working a job you hate, and being involved in organizations where you dislike the people. If you’ve accepted this lifestyle for yourself, what are you going to do when it comes to your family or do they need help?

An individual can set personal goals to help focus on the important things in life. Some families already set goals and measure their success. However, most of us need more assistance and feedback in developing family goals. My wife and I regularly attend a marriage retreat each year so that we can improve our relationship. This type of focus and attention represents a pro-active step in edifying the marriage. Sadly, many people view getting help from an outside source as negative and unproductive.

Escaping the Vicious Cycle

How do you relieve yourself of the vicious cycle of pain that exist in your unfulfilled life? Ask! Obtaining the right help is critical in achieving personal goals. You can start with a trusted friend or get an outside party to assist you. When we conduct family seminars, we give individuals the option of using a personal coach to help them with these goals.

An objective outsider does not have to play power games with family members or intimate friends. Do not feel guilty or even perceive yourselves as falling short of some image. The use of an objective personal coach allows families to make an honest appraisal of themselves as both individuals and as a family unit. Understand the guidelines for selecting a personal coach:

Personal Coaching

What is personal coaching? It’s not being a referee, babysitter, or fight promoter. Coaching is not counseling, either. You talk to a counselor when you have a problem; however, you go to a coach when you want to accomplish goals or improve your skills. Many couples when they seek family counseling are there because of a problem. One mate usually has dragged the other into a session (against his or her better judgment). The poor counselor ends up being a referee. Why? It becomes a contest. Someone wants to be awarded the “winner”!

In the couple's mind, there has to be a winner and a loser. In coaching, everyone wins as a team or loses as a team. The true reward in this process is a personal advisor who does not try to analyze you or interpret what is said. The advisor is there to assist you in being your best. Some of the areas where coaching has proven to be effective include (a) gaining more balance in life, (b) securing more financial security, (c) building better relationships, (d) gaining power, recognition, and influences, and ultimately (e) providing a more meaning life.

You need to do a self- assessment to determine how a personal coach can help you. Picking an advisor can be difficult for many people. One of the best sources for obtaining an advisor is through the International Coach Federation (www.coachfederation.com). You want to establish a genuine relationship with your personal advisor. In selecting an advisor, here are some things to ask yourself:

  1. Can I trust the person with my private information (and still feel comfortable)?
  2. Can the advisor be objective and fair?
  3. Is the advisor a good listener?
  4. Does my family like this person?
  5. Does this person have the necessary skills (facilitating, leading, organizing, etc.) and training to assist my family?

The Final Matter

Life does not get any easier. Having your own advisor is not the solution to all of your problems. Yet, you will become more focused on your priorities. If you have terrible family communications, an advisor won’t change that fact in most cases. However, using this approach may breakdown family barriers. Why be scared in asking for help! Create a more positive life experience. Start today!

Daryl D. Green has published over 100 articles in the field of decision-making (personal and organizational), leadership, and organizational behavior. Mr. Green is also the author of two acclaimed books, Awakening the Talents Within and My Cup Runneth Over. He is a columnist, lecturer, professor, and management consultant. Mr. Green has a BS in engineering and a MA in organizational management. Currently, he is a doctoral degree in strategic leadership. For more information, visit his website at http://www.darylgreen.org

Article source: Expert Articles

Most Recent Articles in Coaching category

  • An Autumn Ritual for Letting Go of Your Blocks - By: Joanna Lindenbaum
    Autumn is the perfect time to clean out and let go of what no longer serves you in your life.
  • Are You Making this Common Time and Energy Wasting Mistake? - By: Joanna Lindenbaum
    By now, you probably know that creating a solid Action Plan and Blueprint are key to envisioning and following through on any BIG project, from building your business to publishing your book to reaching your health or fitness goals.
  • The 31 Absolute Best Resources for Self Improvement - By: David Riklan
    Where should we go for help? Over the course of my life, I've found that there is no "Best Place to Go." There are literally dozens of places to go and people to talk to when it comes to helping us improve our lives. Here is a complete list of 31 resources to help you improve your life. For each section, I include the pros and cons of using that particular resource.
  • From My Heart to Yours.... - By: Joanna Lindenbaum
    You are a daughter of the earth, and you hold all the answers inside you. YOU are the one you've been waiting for.
  • Do Your Thoughts Distract You from Living and Loving Your Life? - By: Joanna Lindenbaum
    Every moment of our lives is an opportunity - an invitation, a gift, a moment of joy or growth or exploration. Yet, we are often so busy being stuck in our worries or anxieties that we completely miss out on what the present moment is offering us.
  • The Possibility of Personal Belief - By: Gary Goldstein
    Do the economic headlines of today make you feel discouraged and fearful? Do you worry about economic gloom and doom and tend to feel anxious or paralyzed by external events, or do you see possibility and opportunity for daily action based on strong personal beliefs and a bold yet pragmatic plan that focuses on rich opportunities, your talents and the value of what you have to offer?
  • Inner Bonding and Breathwork - By: Shelley Riutta
    Shelley describes how she uses both Inner Bonding and Breathwork to help her clients heal their wounded self and connect with their Inner Child/Authentic Self. The Breathwork helps her clients to access their blocked feelings, so they can then work with healing their painful feelings with the Inner Bonding process.
  • Life After Divorce: The Power of Acceptance - By: Shelley Stile
    In Divorce Recovery, as well as any other major loss in life, acceptance is the most important and most difficult step we must take towards releasing the past and beginning a new chapter of life. By acceptance I mean the acceptance of your reality, as it exists for you right now: what is and not what we think should or could be. Acceptance means being conscious and accepting of your reality with no illusions or personal interpretations or filters. It also involves giving up blame, resentment and regret. The ability to let go of those negative emotions is true acceptance, which ultimately gives you the freedom to move forward.
  • Give Up Your Righteousness - By: Matthew Ferry
    There are six billion people on this planet. Every single person has a completely different perspective. You know that every single person has had billions of experiences. Experience shapes our opinions, judgments, ideals, preferences, and ultimately our view of life.
  • Life Coach - Align and Redirect - By: Matthew Ferry
    By releasing your need to be in control of the uncontrollable, you move into a state of flow. You start to experience grace, luck, and miracles.