How to Support a Grieving Friend

By: Chellie Bonebrake
Submitted: 2007-01-17 16:40:01
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As we get older it becomes increasingly common that someone we know is grieving. How do we show our support and address a topic many of us are not sure we are ready to explore. First and foremost remember your friend needs your support. Grieving is the process of learning to live your life without someone you care about, it is a life long journey. It is figuring out who you are and how you relate to the world around you now and in the future without someone who has been part of your life. That is a big job, requiring a lot of emotional energy no wonder your friend needs your support.

There are many ways to support a grieving friend some require a lot of emotional energy, some require less. Decide what you are comfortable with and offer what you can. Try to find something you can do to offer your support, the lack of your support and your silence in your friend’s life will be one more relationship to grieve. Don’t do that to your friend just because you are uncomfortable or don’t know what to say. There is something you can do and just doing one thing on this list will send the message you care.

LISTEN - the best gift is a nodding head, warm hug and a hand ready with Kleenex. You really don’t have to say much, just give your friend the opportunity to talk and talk and talk about the person that died, their fears, frustrations, sadness and loss.

Offer to make phone calls often times people who live far away need to be called and notified. If you can do this for your friend it’s a great help.

Bring food to the house

Bring vitamins, toilet paper and tissues to the house

Look for pictures of the person who has died. Offer them to your friend for a collage or video tribute.

Offer to take the children to the park or read books, do a fun activity with them.

Call and offer your support

If your children and your friend’s children share extra curricular activities offer to drive to and pick up for a while.

Send a meaningful sympathy gift

Offer to get information from the children’s school and remind the parent of deadlines. It’s easy to forget there’s a field trip on Tuesday and your child needs a sack lunch when you are grieving.

Think about all the little details your friend has to keep track of and offer to keep track of some of them for her. She is grieving and grieving takes a lot of emotional energy, which affects the ability to keep track of small details.

Tell your friend you care about her and you are not sure what she needs but you want to offer support, let her know you are available.

Chellie Bonebrake has a Masters Degree in Social Work and has spent over 12 years counseling people who are grieving. She is also the co-owner of an online sympathy gift company specializing in gifts for sympathy, pet loss, garden memorial gifts and in the coming months gifts for serious illness. Visit http://www.acknowledgements.net to see their selection of Sympathy Gifts for a Grieving Heart and read other articles written by Chellie in the Grief and Healing Newsletter.

Article source: Expert Articles

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