Life is Fragile

By: Richard Truthteller
Submitted: 2007-01-17 16:41:31
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Today, my wife and I learned that one of our friends suddenly died this morning. He was in his early forties, and leaves behind a wife and three young kids. He was a genuinely nice guy, and when I saw him last, looked in the peak of health. We did not hear how he died.

I have another friend, one I’ve known since we were young kids. His Mom and my Mom were best friends, all the way back to junior high school. He is also a truly good person and great Dad. He has a form of aggressive cancer. His doctors give him about two weeks at this point. He has five kids and a wife who loves him dearly. They have had the kind of marriage that most married people could only hope for……….both, best friends since day one. The kids are all really good, nice kids.

The last time I saw my friend who has cancer was in April of 2003. On Friday, April 11th of that year, my wife and I were on a plane, on our way to my Mom’s surprise 70th birthday party. I had not seen my Mom for eight months at that point and I could not wait to see her face the following day when 62 of her friends and family surprised her. The party was going to be at my friend’s Mom’s house. Both of our Mom’s had a friendship that had endured for 56 years.

When the plane touched down in my home state and taxied to the gate, a flight attendant made an announcement over the PA system that I should see an airline employee after exiting the plane. I looked at my wife and said that I knew this was not good.

The message I was handed said that I should immediately contact my sister at her cell number. Upon doing so, my sister told me in a very serious, strained voice to go directly to a hospital that was about 45 miles from the airport, and not to stop for anything else. When I arrived at the intensive care unit at the hospital, my step-father embraced me, crying uncontrollably. My sister was in shock. My Mom had had a massive brain hemorrhage that morning and was in a coma and not expected to live beyond that day or the next.

Three days earlier, I had a great phone conversation with my Mom. That day was her birthday, and she had a wonderful day. She had seen some of her long time friends, spent time with my step-father and my brother and sister, and could not have been happier. Before hanging up the phone, I told her I loved her. I would never talk with her again.

As I sit here and write, I feel the discomfort of a miserable skin ailment called nummular dermatitis. It causes an incredible itch and covers about a quarter of the entire surface of my body. It is spreading by the hour, and gets worse every day. Going to work, in a high stress environment, and pretending not to be suffering is a chore.

The mental roller-coaster of three years ago was horrendous. The building joy of seeing your Mom surprised and happy, and the shock and despair of finding her with hours to live. She died on April 13th, a Sunday. As a Christian, I had the comfort of knowing that she was saved. For a Christian, this gives hope in the face of despair. The night before, as we sat at my Mom’s bedside, my friend and his family were there in the room to give us comfort and support.

Three years later, the very family who gave me and my family support, is grieving, an anticipatory grieving in the last days of their Dad and husband's life. He is barely 50.

Like me, my friend who died this morning was a Christian also. That was how I met him, in a church that our wives both had a connection too. I had kept in touch with him. We worked for the same company, until he left and went back to the state where his parents lived, looking for work there. It happened to be my home state also. He could not find work.

My wife just entered the room and informed me that she learned how our friend died this morning. He put a gun to his head and took his own life.

My miserable skin condition means so little compared with the pain his family is suffering tonight. The intense itching still pales in comparison to the sadness felt by my other friend’s family as they spend their last hours with him.

Life is fragile; enjoy your life.

Richard Truthteller writes the controversial social/political blog; Live, Breathe and Die. His articles usually concern issues that are in the news or the truth behind political topics, but here he writes about the stark reality of one recent day. Catch all he writes at: http://www.livebreatheanddie.com

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