Emotional and Verbal Abuse: Making the Choice to Leave

By: Yukio Phillips
Submitted: 2007-01-17 16:41:51
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Abuse takes away freedom.

Our souls thrive in freedom.

They die in abuse.

When we allow another person to enter our sacred space and poison us, we slowly die.

If you are a victim of abuse reading this, you deserve more than tolerating life.

I know the shame you feel.

People have asked me why did I stay? I tell them that I was committed to the entity of marriage. I find it interesting how we commit to a label and lose commitment to ourselves.

We cling to the images we see on soap operas and movies. The happily everafter.

We enter marriage on a fairytale. One day we wake up, and wonder what happened to our mind. Your mind was always there. Your commitment was to appearance rather than your soul.

Oprah had a show recently that helped me come up with a good analogy of tolerating an abusive relationship. Oprah confessed that she tolerated her feet being in pain for the sake of cute shoes. I can identify with that. I bet you can too.

Do you have those cute shoes that you can only wear out to dinner? And that's because you will be sitting down most of the time. We hope so much to break those shoes in. We try and try. What happens? We end up with corns from the friction, but oh aren’t my shoes cute?

It’s similar to abuse in the fact that we stay with the abuser, hoping to break him in. Saying things like 'When we are married it’ll get better or He’s just had a bad day.' Here’s the catch. He is not a pair of shoes. Instead of getting a corn on your foot you develop one on your heart.

The build up of having to protect your spirit from insult causes the corn to wall off your feelings.

Bottom Line: We need to truly evaluate what we value in ourselves. Do we value the health of our souls or value the label of marriage for appearance. The choice is yours. You do have a choice.

Remember that you are important in this world and God wants you to live fully and abundantly. You are unique. Be bold and live with power . The person standing in the way is you.

Yukio Strachan Phillips is an author and Registered Pharmacist with a Doctorate in Pharmacy. As creator of http://www.boldandworthy.com, her passion is to empower women to identify and shatter false beliefs that keep them in abusive relationships. Her special area of focus is raising awareness of spousal abuse in Church Communities across the world. Her Powerful Ezine will inspire people to rise above the limitations that past experiences have left on today. You can sign up for her ezine at http://www.boldandworthy.com where you will find more resources for healing wounds of emotional abuse with more exciting programs to come very soon.

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