Nine Tips for Living a Harmonious Life in Retirement

By: Cynthia Barnett
Submitted: 2008-06-15 22:31:00
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Many people speak and write about living a harmonious life.  Some of those people offer guidance that amounts to trying to help readers or hearers align their lives to the life of the writer/speaker.  And many readers/hearers actually listen for a specific set of steps that will create harmony in their lives.  I’m not presuming that the way I structure my life will be the way you need to structure your life. What I can offer is some guidance about the kinds of things that often create disharmony in people’s lives and some generalized tips to help you create harmony in your life.  

First, let’s stop and think about what a harmonious life is.  Webster’s dictionary defines the word “harmonious” this way:  (1) having parts combined in a proportionate, orderly or pleasing arrangement: congruous, (2) having similar or conforming feelings, ideas, interests, etc: in accord; (3) having musical tones combined to give a pleasing effect: consonant.  When we think about harmony in music, it is easy to hear and feel the harmony of the notes. Harmonious notes in music produce a pleasing and comfortable sound.  The same is true of living a harmonious life: it produces a sense of pleasure and peace and it is comfortable because it has everything in an appropriate proportion.  A harmonious life will also produce a pleasing connection between beliefs, feelings and interests and the way you live your life

My top tips for creating and living a harmonious life are these:

1.    Become very clear and conscious in your own mind about what are your beliefs, feelings, ideas, interests and values.  If these are clear and consistent or harmonious, you have made the first and most important step.

2.    Understand and define your priorities in life.  What is most important to you? Is it inner peace or helping others or building a secure and comfortable life for your family?

3.    Align your priorities with your values and interests.  If they do not work together to create something pleasing, you have a dissonant chord that will prevent you from living a harmonious life. Your priorities will be easier to honor if they are in harmony with your beliefs and values.

4.    Base your goals on your values and priorities. Most of us are trying to achieve something at most times in our lives.  Setting goals for ourselves that are not consistent with our values and our present priorities, we are not very likely to achieve them.  While your values will remain fairly consistent throughout your life, your priorities will change from time to time.  If your goals are in conflict with your values or your present priorities, you will experience disharmony and you will probably not achieve your goals.

5.    Allocate your time according to your values, interests, priorities and goals.  I often work with people who are trying to re-align their lives and their goals but do not reallocate their time in ways that match.  Let’s face it, there are only so many hours in a day!  If your priority and your goal are to spend more time with your family, you need to stop working until 9 pm.  

6.    Focus your energy on your highest priorities and on the achievement of your goals.  It is very easy to see some low-priority project you think needs to be done and expend all of your energy trying to get it done to get it off your mind.  But doing this diverts your focus, your time and your energy from the things you have said are most important to you.  If your goal is to build a tree house with your son or daughter this month, working on your golf game needs to wait until next month.

7.    Don’t take on more than you know you can reasonably do without creating exhaustion or stress.  Taking on new responsibilities or tasks should be a considered decision. It should be considered in terms of the balance of your life according to your values and your priorities.  If something doesn’t fit, you will probably be more content in your life if you don’t agree to do it.

8.    Cherish the feeling of harmony and peace when you create it.  Learn what that peaceful harmony of life feels like.  Enjoy the peace and the feeling that your life is within your control and matches your values and priorities.  

9.    When you feel that your inner harmony is being disrupted, stop and think through your values and present priorities.  Re-evaluate and see what needs to stay and what needs to go.

If you will take these steps to think about what you want in life and align both your time and your energy with a focus on values and priorities, you will begin to enjoy the peace of a harmonious life.  You probably noticed, however, that there is no step 10 in this process.  This is because you will be constantly aligning and re-aligning your time, your energy, and your focus when your present priorities change and when your values become clearer and your interests change.  Enjoy the sound of perfect harmony!

Copyright 2008 by Cynthia Barnett

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