Courage Blossoms in the Snow

By: Maralene Strom
Submitted: 2007-01-17 16:41:51
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This past week I had lunch with a remarkable woman. She is a mother who raised a cognitively challenged child and also went through the trauma of another child contracting a rare form of cancer. He was one of eleven children diagnosed in a children’s hospital with the rare disease and is the only one still living today. He is a young adult pursuing a promising career.

As I listened to her story I was taken by the courage of this woman to advocate for her cognitively challenged child as he journeyed through the public school system during the 70’s and 80’s. As a mother, she was faced with questions by her challenged child like, “Why don’t I have a locker like my sister does?” Challenged children were segregated from the mainstream of the school.

So with the courage of a mother, she visited school officials to overcome a child’s clear sense of being treated different. With quiet, but a firm stance she presented his case before them. The initial answer was that he could be subject to offensive remarks, along with other excuses.

The mother stood her ground and simply replied that it was then the responsibility of the school to teach students how to interact with her challenged son positively. This position was especially cogent when she pointed out that difference was something these students would be facing in their lives.

Throughout the school years, this mother found herself in an advocacy role to have her son’s potential be recognized. To see that while he could not read well, if he were shown any task and tested verbally, he could comprehend and fulfill the requirement of demonstrating his understanding and knowledge. Continuously, she was presenting “out of the box” teaching notions.

He wanted to participate in the sports program. Again she was told that there was not a team sport he could be involved in. That was merely a challenge for this mother. After going through the various coaching staff, a coach said he would bring him into the team as the manager in charge of equipments, etc. Again, the mother coached the coach that for her son to learn his responsibilities he would need it demonstrated.

Subsequently, the coach remarked that he was the best manager he ever had. Not once was anything missing on a road trip, everything ready on time, and without instruction often saw what needed to be done and did it. Once again, thinking outside of the box demonstrated the high level of competence of someone most would underestimate.

When one of his siblings received her driver’s license, he wondered why he had not yet gone through that process. Most parents may have given many reasons why he could not obtain a license. The question was deemed legitimate and together they went to the licensing bureau and discovered that the Department of Motor Vehicles actually has two different test models. One test is for traditional readers, and another using a graphic test model.

Together parents, siblings, and son—who was testing at a later age than his sister—studied the book using his learning style for comprehension to prepare for the day of testing. This young man was motivated to do the best he could which had been his pattern throughout his young life.

The big day came and he went to test for his learner’s permit. He took the test designed for non-readers and passed with flying colors. Subsequently, he learned to drive, passed his drivers test and today drives regularly and has a steady job.

Alice Mackenzie Swaim said, “Courage is not the towering oak that sees storms come and go; it is the fragile blossom that opens in the snow.”

How fitting this seems as I envisioned the courage of parents to walk this journey with their children. Even moreso, I admire the courage of these two boys, one with a life threatening disease the other cognitively challenged.

Children are fragile blossoms. Certainly the children who face the kinds of challenges these two boys faced, are the fragile blossoms that must struggle to open in the snow.

For the most part, we see there has been major progress in mainstreaming challenged children in schools and the public. Yet, there are still parents who find themselves with the constant task of having to advocate for their children’s ability because there is a sense that the “out of the box” view of their children is overlooked.

And as these children reach adulthood, they still must face the challenge of people underestimating their ability to overcome a challenge but thinking outside of the box.

Courage is a fragile blossom that opens in the snow for both adults and children. So when you encounter difference in someone else, remember to see their fragile blossom. Be encouraged, as your courage blossoms in the snow of your own challenges during life’s journey.

(c)2004 Maralene Strom, All Rights Reserved

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