Directed Self-Confidence

By: Peter Fisher
Submitted: 2007-01-17 16:40:32
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Did you know you can have high self-confidence?

Many of us don't believe that we can have self-confidence and go through life feeling that we are just 'not good enough', or worse still that we are 'impostors'. We become highly skilled at convincing ourselves that we don't really matter and that we will never amount to anything.

This lack of self-confidence comes at a high price. The fact is that although many people are lacking in self-esteem and feel powerless to do anything about it, they have created the situation for themselves. This self-made poor self esteem needs to be resolved urgently; it affects emotional and physical well-being and really reduces the quality of your life.

Here is how you can move to what I call 'Directed Self-Confidence' and to help you get started think about these questions:

To whom or to what are you comparing yourself?

When you think you are not good enough to whom or to what are you comparing yourself?

What sort of question is that you might say. OK then I have an action for you: The next time you start to think "I'm not good enough", ask yourself: "what exactly does 'good enough' look like? "? Be specific; to what or whom, did you compare yourself when you reached the conclusion that you are not good enough?

Comparing yourself with other people is not the way forward. All you see of other people is their external facade, you have no idea what goes on in thier minds. So the next time you fall into this trap, take a deep breath and say "I will only be who I am and only compare myself to how I wish to be". I like and respect myself; I am becoming the person I want to be every day.

This is the way to 'directed self-confidence'.

Do you ever find yourself saying 'nobody likes me'? The feeling that everyone in the world is against you is no laughing matter, but you can get beyond that feeling too. When you meet new people do you dislike all of them or are most of them OK? Probably the latter and if so then the reverse is also likely to be true.

Most people you meet will think you're OK!

Make it even easier by making a conscious effort to think that everyone you meet, you will like. And when you like people you tend to be liked in return. This technique of directed self-confidence rubs off on those around you and you are going to be to always meeting people who like you!

Wouldn't it be wonderful?

Do you find yourself always predicting the worst possible outcome for every new situation you come up against? Are you guilty of 'awfulizing' most situations - you know how it goes: "wouldn't it be awful if..."

Next time you find yourself in this frame of mind just take a moment and try this: "wouldn't it be wonderful if..."

This approach to directed self-confidence may just free you to get on with the wonderful things in your life!

Directed Self-Confidence is something that anyone can adopt. As Shakespeare once said "Assume a virtue and it shall be yours". Self-confidence can be assured by just adopting a positive attitude and this can be life changing. If you don't feel confident at any time all you need to do is act confidently, the pretence of being confident will quickly make you feel more confident.

Visit my website Your Positive Attitude

Peter Fisher is an expert Author and Publisher. He coaches and writes for people undergoing career change. Everything from deciding what you want to do and how to do it, by way of personal presentation to interview questions and answers are covered on the main website at http://www.your-career-change.com For confidence-building resources visit his site at http://www.your-positive-attitude.com

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