When Stress Shows Up Don't Extend The Invitation: 10 Ways To Lay Your Stress To Rest

By: Cassandra Mack
Submitted: 2007-01-17 16:40:54
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Stress is a part of life. It is life’s way of telling us to slow down, be still and pay attention. When we do not pay attention to what our emotions and bodies are telling us, we will suffer the ramifications of living an out of balance life. The truth is, as long as you live on this planet with people who do not think and act as you, you will experience stress. As long as life is a series of ups and downs and unpredictable turns, you’ll experience stress. While you cannot eliminate stress completely, you can learn how to manage it and minimize its negative impact on your life. Here’s how.

Identify Stress

Stress can be defined as the physical, behavioral and emotional symptoms associated with an unbalanced life style. I think of stress as the wear and tear on the mind, body and emotions as a result of not living a balanced life and taking care of one’s self. Most people do not realize that they are stressed until they become ill, angry for no apparent reason or feel totally wiped out. The funny thing about stress is, when you are stressed over a prolonged period of time you will become sick, depressed, lonely, make poor decisions and you’ll no longer enjoy the things that normally give you pleasure. In essence, when you are stressed to the max your get up and go, walks away and leaves.

Know Your Stress Symptoms

Everyone experiences stress differently, but one thing is common. There is a still, intuitive voice inside all of us that knows exactly what we need and what we have to do in order to get our needs met. But often in the middle of crisis, overload or exhaustion it is difficult to hear what this still voice is saying. When we are stressed we hear with ear plugs and see through defected lenses. As a result we are unable to tune in so that we can tune out. When you are stressed everything inside of you will tell you that something is wrong. You may experience symptoms such as; muscle tension, fatigue, restlessness, anxiety, changes in mood and appetite or even despair. Or, you may not experience any of these symptoms, but you will know that something is not quite right.

Listen To Your Stress and Strive for Balance

Stress shows up to teach us how to be still, tune into our innate wisdom and master the life lessons we need to learn in order to find our true path. Have you ever stopped to wonder why as soon as you overcome one hurdle or crisis another one pops up? Perhaps it is because life is trying to help you develop a character trait like patience or courage. Or maybe life is trying to teach you a lesson that you refuse to learn. Sometimes what appears as a crisis is life’s way of challenging you to step out of your comfort zone and try a new thing. One thing I’ve learned about life is, that all events in the physical world are subject to change, but the truth is always constant. And the truth is you are equipped with everything you need to handle your situation.

As a single mom, seminar leader and author, minimizing the stress in my life has become a necessity. I have developed a self-care regimen that has helped me to live life by my own design. Following these principles daily has reduced my stress level and gave me greater control over my life. I share them in the hope that they will help you to move from being stressed to blessed.

1. Begin and End Each Day Sacredly.

Whether you pray, meditate, write your thoughts in a journal or listen to soothing music, starting and ending each day on a sacred note will enable you to tune out the noise of the world in order to tune into your divine wisdom. It’s about communing with your wise self. Carving out sacred time is your personal time to give thanks, commune with the Creator and make your request known to the universe. This is your time to be still and go deep within so that you can listen, understand and acknowledge.

2. Develop an Attitude of Gratitude.

Gratitude is one of the most powerful gifts we posses. When we give thanks or show appreciation we experience the world from the perspective of the glass being have full instead of half empty. Gratitude is not a feeling it is a state of mind. When we choose thanksgiving over lack a deep inner transformation in our reality occurs. We look at the world and everything in it, as whole and complete. At the end of each day write down three to five things in a journal that you are grateful for. Think of your gratitude journal as a daily thank you note to life. As you begin to count your blessings you and everything you touch will be transformed.

3. Practice Healthy Eating Habits and a Consistent Exercise Program.

Our body is the temple that houses our mind, spirit and soul. It is the vehicle through which we manifest our hopes, dreams and deepest desires. If you do not take care of it, it cannot take care of you.

4. Let Go of Toxic Thoughts, Habits and People.

Toxic thoughts, behavior and people will send you head first into the valley of dysfunction. If you have thoughts, habits or other people that are draining you, then they are toxic. The sooner you eliminate them from your life, the better off you will be. Whenever you give your time and energy to negativity you are depleting your emotional bank account. And in the end you end up spiritually and emotionally bankrupted.

5. Learn How to Say No.

Some people are chronic people pleasers who have difficulty saying no and setting boundaries. When we agree to do things that we really don’t want to do, we end up feeling resentful or wasting time and energy trying to get out of the commitment that we really didn’t want to keep in the first place. Today make a commitment to yourself to value your time enough to say no. Then celebrate by doing something special for yourself.

6. Invest in Your Personal Growth.

You owe it to yourself to invest time and money into your intellectual, emotional and spiritual growth. Whether you attend seminars, read self-development books or listen to inspirational tapes, investing in your personal growth will provide you with information that will help you to live a more meaningful and fulfilling life.

7. Let Go of the Past.

In order to truly move forward, you have to make peace with your past. Many of us hold on to excess baggage far longer than we should. Some of us take one step forward only to take two steps backward because of an unresolved issue that we refuse to deal with. If the ghosts of your past are still haunting you, find a healthy way to gain closure and move on. The drama you save may be your own.

8. Have a Passionate Love Affair with Yourself.

When was the last time that you had a passionate love affair? Just imagine how delightful it would be to fall in love all over again and get butterflies in your stomach like you did when you had your first crush. Most of us have never had a real love affair with ourselves, because we are waiting for Mr. Right to show up. Why wait? Have an affair to remember right now. Buy yourself a beautiful piece of lingerie and admire how beautiful you look in it. Play some soft music. Light your favorite incense or scented candles. Make a candle light dinner for one. Write yourself a poem. Take a trip to the Caribbean. Treat yourself the way you would treat someone who you were madly, head-over-heals in love with. When you romance your soul on a consistent basis you sow seeds of passion into your love life. Imagine how wonderful it will be when you reap the harvest.

9. Visualize A More Positive Relaxed State.

Our subconscious mind cannot tell the difference between what is real and what is not. This is why visualization and affirmation are such powerful tools of creation. Visualize your ideal life. Incorporate all of your senses. How does it look, feel, sound, smell and taste? Affirm your ideal life. Look in the mirror daily and tell yourself what type of person you want to become, what kind of life you want to live and what goals you want to accomplish. Create your ideal life by mapping out a plan and following it. If you can see it, you can achieve it.

10. Reflect, Recharge and Renew.

Create opportunities to nourish your mind, revitalize your body and replenish your spirit. Use these precious moments to reconnect with mind, body and spirit by taking time out each day for reflection, relaxation and self -pampering. Whether you go to a spa, carve out some private down time, write in a journal or kick back with your sister friends take time out each day for you.

Living blessed instead of stress is about making choices that are right for you. You can’t escape stress but you can use it as a positive tool for change instead of allowing it to drain you. True success comes from living life by your design instead of living by default. By incorporating some of these principles into your regimen you will be able to live a more balanced life. So the next time stress shows up decline the invitation.

Copyright 2001 by Cassandra Mack.

Cassandra Mack, MSW is the CEO of Strategies for Empowered Living Inc., a New York based seminar company that offers professional development training and personal motivation workshops. She is the producer and host of The No More Drama Hour of Power, an online talk radio show of The New York Carib News. To contact Cassandra, you can visit her on the web at: http://www.strategiesforempoweredliving.com

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