Succeed by Starting Where You Are With What You Have: Stop Looking for Free Rides in Fancy Cars

By: Tayo Solagbade
Submitted: 2007-01-17 16:41:15
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Are You Fond Of Looking For "A-Woof!"?

Some people are always looking for what Will Smith (American Comedian/Music Star) - in an edition of the popular sitcom "Fresh Prince of Bel-Air"(long time ago) - once described as "A FREE RIDE IN A FANCY CAR".

They never want to pay for anything. They always look for "freebies"(something they can get for nothing) and once they're done with that, start searching for another. What they fail to realise is that the things that bring the greatest benefits to a person, are often those that cost HIM/HER something - and sometimes that something WILL BE money; other times it will be delayed gratification, physical pain/sweat and so on.

Napoleon Hill said in "Think and Grow Rich” that when something is obtained without effort or cost, it tends not to be appreciated - and can often get discredited. That's quite true. I believe this is so because those who get that THING, in that manner, would not have had to "fight" or "struggle" to do so, and therefore would not perceive it as being something of VALUE. When you do not value something, you are unlikely to feel a need to hold on to it, or treat it with respect.

One of the major reasons I have personally discovered, that makes many people unable to achieve the goals they set for themselves is that they are always looking for what we call(in my home country, Nigeria) "A-woof!". Out here when you are told a particular person is fond of looking for "A-woof", it means the person loves getting things for free(or with little or no honest effort). In other words, s/he is lazy.

(The "A-woof" expression was coined from the observation of pet dogs especially those belonging to rich people, which get food tossed to them every time they playfully wag their tails and bark "A-woof!" at their indulgent owners - even though, in contrast to their guard dog contemporaries, they serve little or no useful work purpose around the house!).

People who love "A-woof" typically want someone to "dash" them the money they will use to start their business, "dash" them the office, the equipment...give them free rent, help them to find market for their products, promote them on the job, even when they don't merit it and so on!

(The expression "Dash" is taken to mean "giving something to another person as a gift, NOT a loan that they will have to work hard to repay or give something back in kind for"). Hope you're enjoying the little "language" lessons/tips being thrown in as this article progresses! :-)

Start Taking Action NOW - And Let Others Decide To Join/Help You!

"Every day all of us should do all we can, where we are, with what we have." - Eartha White

"No enterprise worthy of accomplishment would ever begin if all obstacles were first to be overcome" - Napoleon Hill

Meanwhile take a look at the lives of people who get things done and achieve their goals in life, and immediately the contrast is obvious. The latter will often not wait for ANYONE to help. Instead they take action to use what they have (no matter how little, and not minding if it means losing it all!) to get what they want. If along the way, someone then offers to help, that adds to their "momentum", but they would have at least been well on their way before then.

What I have said in the above paragraph, is THE key to achieving ANY goal you set for yourself - in spite of any limitations you might have. Don't wait till someone comes around to help you. GET UP and GET OUT there, and start doing what you can with what you have, in order to get what you want. That's when those who CAN help YOU are more likely to think "Hmm, s/he's certainly serious about this. With a little help s/he might just pull it off". You see, by taking action to start doing something, you will be giving others who can support you, an opportunity to assess your level of commitment and more reason to believe in you.

To Succeed In Spite Of Limitations, You Must Be Achievement Oriented

By the way, have you noticed how some people who have many sympathisers giving them things without their having to sweat for it, often tend not to be able to get very far despite all the sympathetic assistance they get? Professor Wole Soyinka(A Winner of the Nobel prize for Literature), wrote about this in his book titled "The Man Died(Prison Notes)" published by Spectrum Books Limited, Nigeria, in association with Safari Books Export Limited, UK.

Soyinka recounted the psychological torment he went through while waiting for news of his possible release from detention(he was arrested at the beginning of the Nigerian Civil War, and released in 1969 by Federal Authorities).

At a point, when it became apparent that the release would not happen before Christmas as initially "informally" communicated to him through the prison's "grapevine", Soyinka said some of the prison guards who had become friendly with him, tried to empathise, but that he felt letting them show too much of what appeared to be fast getting close to pity, would only soften his resolve, and ultimately make him psychologically weaker - something he could not afford to be while still in there(what with the various mind games his captors were capable of). So he chose to withdraw and discourage further advances etc.

And that's the thing about the human mind. When there is too much sympathy directed at a person observed to be "failing" in an endeavour or "suffering", because of seemingly unfortunate circumstances s/he finds him/herself in, s/he mentally tends to "relax" in the knowledge that people "understand" why s/he is in that situation, instead of feeling pressed to do something to get out of it as fast as possible, or at least staying resolved to resist compromising or surrendering to his/her captors.

"The wise person creates more opportunities than he finds" - Unknown

My personal experiences have taught me that to continually progress towards my goals, it is better for me to be around people who constantly challenge me to take continuous intelligent action to create opportunities to change my situation for the better -and NOT accept to sit back and wait for someone to do it, or something to happen. If I cannot find such people, I would prefer - like Soyinka - to be by myself and like Napoleon Hill said "keep my own counsel". Yes, I learnt that a long time ago. Truly successful people tend to be achievement oriented. Pity is something they do not welcome from anyone.

The above is also why I abhor maintaining prolonged contact with people who have a laid back attitude to life in general(and worse, who want me to do the same!) - especially when possible alternative lines of action that can be pursued are yet to be explored.

Want my advice? Develop a similar attitude, and you WILL always achieve the goals you set for yourself!

Final Words: Invest In Your Personal Development

So, just in case you have been guilty - before now - of looking for "free rides in fancy cars" in the pursuit of your supposedly valued goals, I am hoping this article has convinced you that "A-woof" as we say in my country, "dey run belle". This pidgin english/vernacular phrase translates to mean "A-woof" has a negative side effect of causing whoever accepts it to develop a "running stomach". In other words, it may taste nice when you take it, but eventually, it costs you MORE than you get from it. So why take it?

I'll end by saying this: If you are miserly about spending (time, effort, money etc) on yourself, for your personal development and advancement, then how can you expect others to be generous in spending on you? Please think about it. Nothing good and long-lasting ever really comes FREE. You will have to give up something(s) to get it. In other words, there are no shortcuts to lasting success.

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