The Good, The Bad...and the Jealous

By: Karen Wolff
Submitted: 2007-01-17 16:41:15
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What ever happened to the days when people were genuinely happy for each other? You remember...those days when nobody ever wanted something that someone else had.....

Oh wait.....those days never existed.

Jealousy is probably one of the world's oldest emotions. It's been around since the beginning of time. Look at Cain and Abel. Now there's a prime example of jealousy run amok.......

What causes jealousy? Why does it start and how do you overcome it? Here are some common causes:

  • Unmet expectations. Many times we place unrealistic expectations on ourselves and the people around us. Often times we feel things should come easier and faster to us. Then when things don't happen when we think they should, we ALWAYS run into someone who already has what we want, and all of a sudden, you feel this surge of ugly, green emotion called jealousy.

  • Our sense of entitlement. For some reason we have this ingrained attitude that we are entitled to things. Kids leaving the nest for the first time believe their own standard of living should be the same as their parents, who have worked for years and years. Many times people who have financial problems feel "entitled" to buy things on credit, even though they know it's a bad idea. Having the nicest car and the newest toys is more important than getting out of debt.

  • Insecurity. It is so easy to look at other people and wish we had what they have. And so many times it doesn't stop there. We start berating ourselves internally about why we don't have it, then we believe all that junk, and the next thing you know we develop insecurities in our relationships.

    After you read about all the stuff that can cause those feelings of jealousy, you may feel like you're doomed to always feeling like you'll be coming up short in some area of life. But that surely isn't the case. There IS some good news. There are some things you can do to stop the jealousy ball from rolling right over you.

  • Stop Comparing yourself to other people. You were created as a very unique and special person. God had a plan for you long before you took your first breath. Relish that thought. Love the fact that you're special. What God has in mind for you isn't the same as for someone else. So you don't have to feel bad that you don't have all the qualities, features, money, or anything else that someone else has. Your journey is just that.....YOURS.

  • Stop worrying about YOU all the time. Find a way to be a blessing to someone else. When you change your focus away from you, all of a sudden you feel so great about yourself. You get to experience something that only comes when you're a blessing to someone else. Your priorities start changing, and one day you realize that the things that used to make you so jealous and so nuts, don't bother you so much anymore.

  • Stop wanting what other people have if you're not willing to go through what they did to get it. When you see a person who is physically fit and looks positively great, it's easy to feel REALLY jealous. But are you willing to work out every day? Are you willing to eat healthy and look for ways to be healthy? If you're not, then there really is no reason to feel jealous, is there?

  • Start focusing on all that's positive in your life. God has given you so many wonderful gifts that many other people don't have. Focus on using those gifts to help someone else. Since your mind can only consciously think about one thing at a time, doesn't it make sense to make sure that "one thing" is positive and is moving you toward the really great things in life?

    • Breaking free from jealousy starts with your thoughts. When you change the way you think, you change the way you feel and act. Change your focus to helping others......it will definitely be time well spent....or should I say....thoughts well spent.

    For more info on overcoming jealousy, go to "Why Am I Jealous?"

    Karen Wolff is the founder of "http://www.christian-books-for-women.com", a place that gives Christian women lots of info, tips, and help with a variety of issues they face every day. Find book reviews, recommendations, and submit your favorite books so you can be a blessing to someone else.

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