From Stage Fright to Speaking Ease

By: Tommy Yan
Submitted: 2007-01-17 16:43:05
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It was Wednesday, 10:45 on a cold, overcast San Francisco morning. I was up next to give a three-minute talk on anything that came to mind. Nothing structured, rehearsed or memorized. It was ad lib—but not for the sake of filling the air with chatter. I was to allow a connection to arise.

Which is such a refreshing breakthrough...

Because when you are speaking in front of a group, people are listening. There's a synergistic relationship that develops. You are giving, and they are receiving.

But it doesn't end there...

Part of the same equation is they are giving, and you are receiving. This continues the synergy. They give you their support while you are listening to them.

This is the most powerful combination in communicating. When you and your audience become one. Like two dancers who are so tuned with each other, magic happens.

The audience can't help but be engaged with you because you are with them, and they are with you. You are not the soloist. But your relationship becomes a solo.

For the first time ever, I brushed off those butterflies in my stomach. I was not a performer trying to receive applause, approval or acceptance. I didn't have to be perfect. I delighted in being me.

Which allowed the audience to delight in themselves.

I didn't have to be polished. I didn't have to count how many "ums" I committed. And I didn't have to put on an act to puff up my abilities, or hide my inadequacies.

It was deliciously liberating.

I gravitated toward community. I quickly let go of self-consciousness. And in its place I embraced authentic generosity.

I put my stage fright to rest because I was no longer on stage. The spotlight was no longer on me. The audience and I became the stars.

Here's how you can create that same magic:

1) To begin, take a deep breath. For three to five seconds. Receive their support. Don't rush into your speech. Allow this sacred moment to acknowledge them.

This begins the absorbing process. Like a sponge, they will absorb your words and your presence. You will absorb their support and their presence.

2) The best preparation is none. When you speak from memory, you tend to sound mechanical. And this will create a disconnect. When this occurs, your audience will wander.

Whether you are or aren't familiar with your subject—speak from your heart. Let your inner speaker communicate with the inner listener. This is where the real connection occurs.

3) Connect with available eyes. Avoid staring or forcing a connection. Allow for one to develop naturally. And never stare at one fixed spot or perform a sporadic glance.

Your soft eyes will draw people closer. Without trying. Even if you're speaking to tens of thousands, the crowd will focus on your eyes through the huge screens.

4) Avoid falling in love with your topic. Instead, fall in love with your audience. When they feel appreciated, they will return the affection.

If you love your topic more, they will know. You've put up an invisible wall. Your presence is lost. And they will not return their affection.

5) Receive their appreciation. After your close, take in their love and support. Don't shy away from their applause. And don't run off prematurely.

They appreciate you as much as you them. It's doesn't end until the applause stops. You are still in their consciousness until then.

These are the steps to creating that speaking magic. When you let go of communicating outwardly and allow the inner speaker to arise—you'll enjoy a deeper connection that will leave people wanting for more.

Tommy Yan helps business owners and entrepreneurs make more money through direct response marketing. He publishes Tommy's Tease weekly e-zine to inspire people to succeed in business and personal growth. Get your free subscription today at www.TommyYan.com.

Article source: Expert Articles