Speaking in Public - How to Take it in Your Stride

By: Dorothy Gauvin
Submitted: 2007-01-17 16:43:05
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Sure as little green apples, the time will come when you will be asked to make a speech. It may be to propose the toast to the bridesmaids when the daughter of your best friend gets married.Or you may be asked to welcome the guests at the Opening Night of your first art exhibition. Whatever it may be, as the big day looms closer, you will discover why 87 percent of people surveyed say they dread public speaking more than death itself.

The reason for this is usually given as Shyness. I know all about that. As a painfully shy teenager, I lost my dinner every time before leaving the house for one of the parties or social dances my mother wisely insisted that I attend. Then one day, I realised the truth about Shyness. It is just an inverted form of Vanity. Let's have a good look at it.

Vanity thinks: 'Everybody is looking at me! And admiring.' Shyness thinks:'Everybody is looking at me! And criticising.' Both are mistaken. You need to be, or achieve, something outstanding to capture the attention of the rest of us who are so busy with our own concerns.

Growing up, we were all trained not to 'show off' or draw attention to ourselves. The result of this training is a lot of people hampered by shyness. Shyness is often considered an endearing trait - in someone else. If you are that someone, it can be a crippling handicap to your social happiness and confidence. But it need not be so. Listen and I will tell you the secret truth that will melt your fears and let you stand up confidently to speak in front of any audience. But, here is a warning: The Secret, powerful as it is, is also so simple that many of you will dismiss it. Go right ahead - and rejoin the 87 percent of folk who would rather die than make a speech. You others come a bit closer, because I am going to whisper. The Secret comes in two parts.

(a) Half the audience - the male half, that is, (women being far less likely to be invited to speak) will feel a bond of sympathy with you, since they have either been through the ordeal or fear it will be their turn soon. (b) It really does not matter how you look, what you wear, or even what you say, because no one will be paying you very much attention anyway.

If you suddenly developed the power to read minds, you would see that of that audience you are facing, one will be calculating his chances of persuading that bridesmaid - the one with the big... smile - to go on with him to a nightclub, after the party. The woman next to him is wishing she had not worn the new shoes that are pinching her toes so unmercifully. The man behind her is anguished by the feeling that his hairpiece has slipped and is wondering if it would give away his secret if he reaches up to adjust it. You see, we are all bound up in our own little worlds.

To each of us, the most interesting character on Earth is the person we see in the bathroom mirror. And most of the time, we are so busy watching ourselves that we do not have much in-depth attention to spare for anyone else.

Now, I do not mean that you can just stand up without any preparation and hope that what comes out of your mouth will at least make sense. You owe it to your friend, or your gallery director to do a decent job of the speech you have promised. So you do need to give the job some thought. Myriad books about the art of speech-making are available, but for your purposes, all that is really needed is to know the basics.

1. Know your subject - or research it. (For instance, ask the bridesmaid for any anecdote about the bridal couple that would be suitable to include in your remarks. Be sure you have got her name right, and check the pronunciation.)

2. Rehearse your speech at home - only 3-4 times (you do not want to go 'stale') and time it (speaking at your normal speed) so you know how it will fit in with the rest of the programme.

3. Be aware that a moment of silence after you stand up will give the audience notice, so they can at least pretend to pay attention.

4. Glance around the audience as you speak - each one will be certain you looked straight at him or her - and they will like you for it.

5. As you finish, smile. Everyone likes a smile. (You will probably mean it by then, knowing you have got through the dreaded job okay) but resist the instinct to say 'Thank You.' It is bad form for speech makers, and anyway, you are the one who just gave a performance - the audience should be thanking you. (If they are clapping, that is their 'Thank You.')

TIP: For those who would like to develop real skills at public speaking, I recommend joining a debating group or a club that teaches and promotes public speaking, such as Toastmasters or Forum - a club for women that is run on similar lines.(I joined Forum at age 16 in an effort to combat shyness, and am eternally grateful for its lessons.)

To sum it up: a) Always remember that most of the audience is on your side. They know how hard it is, and they are not sitting there hoping to see you fail.

b) The fate of nations does not hang on what you say, or how well you say it. Moments after you sit down, very few could quote one sentence from your speech. (Except perhaps that bridesmaid - if you got her name wrong!)

c) Your speech is only a small part of the evening programme, but it is a part. So in fairness to the person who invited you, do your best to help the evening go smoothly. Do not fuss yourself into a state of nerves that will make you look like the sacrificial lamb as you wobble to your feet.

d) Keep reminding yourself that half the people in the audience are probably more shy than you and would not have the nerve to get up and do what you are about to do. So there!

One final tip (from my misspent youth in an Eisteddfod choir): With the choir assembled in the wings, our choirmaster would tell us to do some simple tongue exercises before we went onstage. The object was to loosen our tongues to improve our diction. They can help you, as a novice speech-maker, by making you less likely to slur your words or stumble over a word. But, do these exercises somewhere private, or you'll attract unwelcome attention!

1. Run your tongue around your gums, stretching to reach the furthest corners of your mouth. Do this at least 5-6 times. 2. Poke out your tongue and strive to touch the tip of your nose. It is impossible, of course, but the object is to streeetch.

You will be amazed at how much more clearly you will speak after these exercises.Now,I would like to propose a Toast: Here's to You, the confident public speaker!

©Dorothy Gauvin

Article source: Expert Articles