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Show Me The Money
As the stock market was experiencing its biggest one day drop ever last week, and as many investors watched their portfolios shrivel, I realized two very important things. One, there's nothing sadder than a shriveling portfolio, and two, the stock market could crash like a circus fat lady falling over a lawn chair and it wouldn't affect me in the least. I own no stocks.Read more…Smoke 'em If You Can Afford 'em
I was talking with my young friend, Heywood, recently, when the conversation veered from professional wrestling and last week's episode of Seinfeld to global politics and matters of international trade."If I were president, I'd make friends with Cuba and tell China to take a hike," Heywood said seriously. "I hate Chinese food, but I'd love a good Cuban cigar.Read more…Some Guys Have All The Luck
When I was in high school the best way to meet girls was to join a rock'n'roll band. These days you'd be better served by joining The Young Democrats Club.Thanks (in no small part) to the "alleged" escapades of our beloved President Bill "Do You Wanna Touch Me" Clinton, politicians have joined the ranks of TV evangelists and errant sportscasters as the men most likely to get caught with their pants down.Read more…Some People Will Eat Anything
WARNING: This week's column contains news so scary, so utterly horrific, that I, the author of said column, hereby declare that I will not be held responsible for the mental anguish or irreparable emotional damage caused by reading it. In fact, I didn't even write this column. I bought it off some guy I met in the parking lot at Captain D's.Read more…Sometimes Life Just Ain't Funny
There's an old southern saying that goes, "Don't like the weather? Just hang around a few minutes. It'll change.Read more…Staying Alive
What if someone handed you a pill and said, "Take this pill and you will live to be 120 years old."Would you take the pill?What if they said, "Not only will you live longer, but your body will stop aging from this point on.Read more…The Dust Settles On Miss America
When I was a hormonally-challenged lad of eleven or so, the Miss America Pageant was a very big deal to me. After all, it was the one night of the year when the network ditched The Partridge Family and Room 222 in favor of beautiful women sauntering about in swimsuits. And I would do anything to be able to stay up and watch the show.Read more…The Intelligent Diaper
I believe it was Frank Zappa who said, "Necessity is the mother of invention," which means that if there is a public need for something, sooner or later, someone will invent it; and then Microsoft will steal the idea, produce a cheaper, far inferior knock-off of the original that the ignorant masses will scarf up like the last cherry cheesecake at a Weight Watcher's convention!The genius of invention and the idiocy of consumption; just two more things that make our merry world go round.Think about it.Read more…The New Fab Four
The news of their arrival reached these shores long before they did. A massive ad campaign introduced them to America and touted their status as Britain's "New Fab Four." There was an extensive media blitz launched by the television network that would carry their already "wildly- successful in Europe" half hour show.Read more…The Real McCaugheys
The birth of the McCaughey Septuplets has everyone thinking and talking babies. Even couples who have never before felt the desire to hear the pitter-patter of little feet stepping all over their stuff are considering taking the plunge. You hear them all the time, these poor, ignorant fools, saying things like, "Oh, the babies are so cute and the mommy looks so happy.Read more…The Religion Of Football
Here in Alabama, there are three classes of people: Alabama Crimson Tide fans, Auburn Tiger fans, and atheists. Two of the three will go to Hell when they die. Which two depends entirely on who you ask.Read more…The Smarter White Meat
I know you're probably going to find this hard to believe, especially those of you who write in every week seeking my advice on life's really tough problems (Note to Marvin in Mobile: Yes, no, ask your doctor, I think that's illegal in ALL 50 states, and no, not with a ten-foot pole), but I, Tim Knox, never went to college. To those of you who write in every week complaining that my frequent use of words like "y'all, yonder and ain't," is an affront to the English language and that I give southerners everywhere a bad name, I'm sure this comes as no surprise (Note to Doug in Dothan: You, sir, may still kiss my grits, college educated or not).When I graduated from high school in 1978, college was the furthest thing from my mind.Read more…The Tanya Factor
Is it me or are the 1998 Winter Olympics about as exciting as watching old people speedwalk at the mall? Don't get me wrong, I'm as patriotic as the next guy, but when the nightly highlight show contains fifteen minutes of slow-motion replays of the day's curling competition (an event that's boring at regular speed), you know something is wrong.So what's missing this time around?Read more…The Tax Man Cometh
Someone once said that there are only two things in life that are certain: death and taxes. I would argue that death and taxes are really one and the same, the only difference being that death can only claim you once, while taxes can kill you every year.I die a slow death every April 15th.Read more…The Unsinkable Tim Knox
Anyone out there old enough to remember 'The Omega Man,' the 1971 film starring Charlton Heston as Colonel Robert Neville, the last "normal" man on earth? You remember, everyone else on the planet had been turned into deranged albino-mutants by some kind of deadly moon radiation. It was based on a true story, I think.Read more…Thingamabobs And Whatchamadigits
Maybe you weren't aware of it, but one of the requirements of being a good dad is that you must know everything there is to know about everything. Or at least act like you do. And you must always be at the ready to share your vast storehouse of wisdom with your children when they ask, in hopes that they will be able to do a heck of a lot more with it than you have.Read more…What's My Mama Gonna Say?
I know you're going to find this hard to believe, but I, Tim Knox, noted humanitarian, former Eagle Scout, and lover of mankind the world over, am a sexist pig.Sorry, mama. I had no idea.Read more…When Great Minds Meet
As a native son, I know that it doesn't take much to get the average Alabamian excited. Double coupon day at Kroger will do it; the opening of a Super Wal-Mart; an Elvis sighting; a batch of Georgia lottery tickets smuggled in by a coworker and sold at cost. But I was amazed at the reception Microsoft CEO Bill Gates got when he came to Alabama last week.Read more…Who Cracked My Crystal Ball?
It seems like an awful lot of people are asking my opinion these days, usually about things on which I have no opinion to give. They ask my take on international politics, global warming, the overseas stock markets, the future of the Eurodollar, the latest Calvin Klein fragrance, and a whole slew of other topics that I know little, if anything, about. Even my wife wants to know what I think.Read more…Women Are From Where?
The other night, after throwing the kids outside and putting the animals to bed (we discovered our mistake the next morning), my wife and I settled in for a quiet evening alone. We don't get much time to ourselves anymore, what with work and the constant demands for attention from a two-year-old who thinks electrical outlets are convenient, piggy bank ATMs and a ten-year-old who wants to forego middle school to become a Spice Girl. So, when we get more than five minutes alone, it's a big deal.Read more…
Most Recent Articles in Humor category
- The Five Oddest Places to Find Cannabis Seeds - By: Robert Kane
While some people would think that finding cannabis and marijuana seeds anywhere would be bizarre, there are many places that even the most single minded champion of the drug wouldn't think to look for it. We take a look at these odd places that you could find cannabis and cannabis seeds. - "Funny web videos": the new face of internet - By: Sugitha Agriya
This fact is becoming each day truer: our world is too gloomy, too serious. Hopefully, there are some people who are trying to resist. They do not accept this, and they are trying to have some fun, in all the cases, by any way, and, even on a tool that is, a priori, designed for more austere purposes. - Comedy Talent Agency A Description in Brief - By: Rodger Jackman
The largest comedy festival of the world, Just for Laughs takes place at Canada and this proves that the Canada is the ideal place of the comedy talent agencies. - Comedy and Comedians - By: Rodger Jackman
Funny business inc specialize in Clean corporate comedy, and have been filling venues with laughter for over 30 years. Funny Business Inc. has been Canada's largest talent agency and exclusive representative of Yuk Yuk's On Tour from Western to Eastern Canada. - Learning Chinese - NOT! - By: Lance Carr
One man's pitiful attemts at trying to learn the language of his wife, children and place of residence. - A Very Unlucky Day - By: Buboy Francisco
The bike was left in a security guard , stolen, and eventually returned after 2 months. - Old Blue, Willie, and Their Rotten Gaggle - By: Beth McCain
We all have them. The relatives that just won't go away. - Magic Tricks Revealed - By: Michael Malega
Interesting article for Magic Tricks Revealed, tips, ideas, recommendations that may be of benefit to you, to lean more about Magic Tricks Revealed, please check our web site… - Fact Is Funnier Than Comedy - By: Ajeet Khurana
Instead of watching that funny movie, why not just look at real life? Often fact is funnier than fiction. - The Invention of Details, With A Final Q & A Period - Second Half; The Invention of Everything - By: Tom Attea
“Really?”“Yeah. We figure, why make the creatures think about the billions of things that will be going on to keep them alive.